About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality
My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..
Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more
I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me
I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people
I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.
Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was going to volunteer at a soup kitchen. I saw a man working, so I went up to him to ask where I should sign in. Before I even opened my mouth, he told me that they opened at 12 and to come back then for my meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32246) - you deserved it (3235)
On 07/20/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to a club with my friends. I told my mom that I was going to come back home at 3:00 a.m. At 3:15 a.m., my mom comes to the club, with 2 cops, wearing pyjamas, shouting my name and telling me to come back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45529) - you deserved it (17181)
On 07/19/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by marcelop - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47649) - you deserved it (4597)
On 07/14/2009 at 6:13pm - intimacy - by bellaboop1990 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35995) - you deserved it (7525)
On 07/13/2009 at 11:03pm - animals - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9799) - you deserved it (54679)
On 07/06/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Seabiscuit (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44893) - you deserved it (7775)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:22am - love - by shouldhaveknown (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, all my friends had a huge party and 'forgot' to invite me. They only remembered about me at 2 am when they called asking for rides home because they were all too drunk to drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35248) - you deserved it (1497)
On 06/19/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by Kerry (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36953) - you deserved it (7227)
On 06/13/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by anonymous1 - United States (California)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (115165) - you deserved it (6755)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was having a garage sale and my mother-in-law came by to see what I was selling. She decided to buy these ugly green wine glasses that were still unopened. It turns out that she gave those to my wife and I when we got married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13620) - you deserved it (34995)
On 06/10/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17659) - you deserved it (43104)
On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35317) - you deserved it (7852)
On 06/01/2009 at 1:55am - love - by thanksbaby (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44197) - you deserved it (5761)
On 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by satanlovesme (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43011) - you deserved it (2729)
On 05/21/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by pa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71503) - you deserved it (3223)
On 05/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by chaos2007 - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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