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bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9408
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>cokeman666</b> - one hour ago<b>valerie_273</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:10pm<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:00pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:31pm<b>nfdfhm</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:48pm<b>ifunnyftw</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Jak0p</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 6:25am<b>chalkthewalls</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:54pm<b>cats54321</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 1:58am<b>adamant84</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:31pm<b>the_beagle</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:37am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:20pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 11:53pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 11:48pm<b>artpoooop4569</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 9:10am<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:59am<b>brookiesawr</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 11:30am<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 4:21am

Liked!<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 10:21am

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a letter in the postbox at my new flat which ran something along these lines of: "Hi. We're the gas company. You owe us £1,229.79 and have 7 days to pay us. Lotsa love, dated 7th September." FML

#5638823
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29197) - you deserved it (3502)

On 10/04/2009 at 9:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I got a call from a prominent orchestra asking me to play with them. They were especially interested because I'm still in high school. I called to accept only to find out that my mother had already declined the offer for me because I "only" have a 3.7. FML

#5403553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41976) - you deserved it (2392)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:50pm - work - by bass (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37051) - you deserved it (3450)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I had my first born child. It's a boy. I found out on facebook. FML

#5347133
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44866) - you deserved it (13918)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by josh (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML

#5319261
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36674) - you deserved it (4680)

On 09/17/2009 at 7:58pm - kids - by Sadmom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28313) - you deserved it (5062)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was prioritizing my extreme amount of homework. I read over the front page of my psychology paper seeing that it was pretty easy questions, I decided to do it last. Little did I know there was a 8 page essay on the back of the page. It's 12:19 am. FML

#5243729
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31251) - you deserved it (18913)

On 09/14/2009 at 12:20am - work - by _philliesfan (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML

#5227356
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38864) - you deserved it (3068)

On 09/13/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Casden (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

#5189788
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41142) - you deserved it (6727)

On 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm - animals - by ouchh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

#5162946
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37146) - you deserved it (7390)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while driving on the tollway my car overheated and died a few yards from the toll booth. I then had to wait, crying, in my smoking car for a patrol guy while cars moved around me. He had to push me through the toll and the lady in the booth said she felt sorry for me but still took my $3. FML

#5157778
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30073) - you deserved it (4550)

On 09/09/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

#5086359
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10985) - you deserved it (41869)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML

#4996665
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45601) - you deserved it (2638)

On 09/02/2009 at 10:47am - love - by BDayssuck (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18442) - you deserved it (360130)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

#4952305
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32946) - you deserved it (3076)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by kelkline (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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