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bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8512
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>kitcat517</b> - 18 hours ago<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - 22 hours ago<b>aron1991</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:40am<b>itzthapopo</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 9:55am<b>misterjg540</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:38pm<b>Nicky816</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:36am<b>clarabulln</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:57pm<b>Hawk3278</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 6:08pm<b>20minutesto9</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:10pm<b>melody309</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:42pm<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:21pm<b>random_cashmere</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 10:25pm<b>hoondigi</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 3:04am<b>squidfred</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 12:05pm<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:40am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 8:48am<b>fiixon</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 9:14pm<b>__Tron_Cat__</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:29pm

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

#20460941
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13775) - you deserved it (41806)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

#20452288
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29157) - you deserved it (3414)

On 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm - health - by thanksforthat (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30652) - you deserved it (8774)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34187) - you deserved it (2763)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22298) - you deserved it (6685)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26591) - you deserved it (1883)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12756) - you deserved it (41959)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

#20438192
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41162) - you deserved it (1947)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45228) - you deserved it (2837)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

#20432925
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (8267)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28968) - you deserved it (7526)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79971) - you deserved it (24554)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML

#20411999
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (2597)

On 12/21/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by judge not, ye cunt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28070) - you deserved it (5350)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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