Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bizarre_ftw

Search for a member

bizarre_ftw

7Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10858
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>Leafa</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:51pm<b>eleanorrigby90</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 8:35am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:13am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:23am<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:11am<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 10:05pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:51pm<b>Qandol</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:04am<b>greamreaper</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:22am<b>Brumbler</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:51pm<b>captain_mal</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:37am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 6:24pm<b>rebphil18</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:02pm<b>UnknownTracker</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:04pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Warnorse</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 8:43pm

Liked!<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 7:51pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 10:23pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:52am<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:48am<b>Kielnmsoftly</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 5:16am<b>graciedarl</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:01am<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 10:21am

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to mah relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and mah new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

#20460941
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14313) - you deserved it (42703)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)

Taday I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called mah best friend 4 support, only 4 her to drunkenly yell at me 4 not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

#20452288
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29369) - you deserved it (3430)

On 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm - health - by thanksforthat (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush,ho turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked mehich dog breed I lyk the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. big fat FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32172) - you deserved it (9001)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, mah daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today I was on a plane an realizd tat te woman next to me was iding a edgeog in a plastic container !! I'm severely afraid of edgeog but not wanting to give te woman up an get er in trouble I trid to stay quiet !! Wic ld to me to quietly yperventilate an pass out on te plane !! FML

#20445879
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22520) - you deserved it (6708)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today I had to download a parental block so mah dad would stop watching porn on mah laptop. big fat FML

#20441386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (1983)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't ave a air tie... so I used a tong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daugter. I trew on my clotes... drove to pick er up... went to te store... and went fir ice cream... tong still in my air. mega FML

#20438564
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12841) - you deserved it (42165)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

looool I overhered my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now . Apparently , I have no concept of wat "marriage" really means . My husband an I just celebratd our 7th anniversary,hile my mother is planning her 5th wedding . FML

#20438192
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42671) - you deserved it (2034)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today hile buying paint I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told mehat a nice young lady I was. Then her boss cummed over screamed at her fir being lazy and fred her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45533) - you deserved it (2858)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

yesterday my dad askd me when I was going to start looking 4 a job !! Jokingly, I told him next year !! He got pissd, startd to yell, then realizd Tuesday is New Year's Day an groundd me 4 "bieng a dumbass." FML

#20432925
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28113) - you deserved it (8350)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyoneho walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30473) - you deserved it (7698)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she looool had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82306) - you deserved it (25296)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today.. . I was overseieng a nativity play reheresal . Things went fairly well.. . until a boy's grandma stormd in.. . ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination".. . and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her . Half the kids were left in teres.. . and we had to cancel the reheresal . FML

#20411999
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24786) - you deserved it (2741)

On 12/21/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by judge not, ye cunt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daugter finally gave brt to twin boys. Se informed me tat se named tem Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (5385)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: