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bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

18Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12403
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>kingbubbles</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Soparot</b> - yesterday at 3:47pm<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:31am<b>Tavris</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 3:09pm<b>helen_ellexo</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:06am<b>dsousa</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:52am<b>theswanlake</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:19pm<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:54am<b>player20270</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:01am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:51pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:28am<b>gunnerette</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 4:31am<b>kaylizs</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:45pm<b>Camwentz</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:47am<b>Trup75</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 1:33am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 12:24pm<b>holdaloverclose</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 1:29pm<b>dusthar</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 6:59pm

Fucked!<b>alexalexalex10</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:22pm<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 10:00am<b>jonloran</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:30am<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 8:44am<b>a816090</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:55pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 9:39pm<b>Candace7</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:38am<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:02pm<b>Allnightampm</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 2:00pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:16am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:06am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 7:51pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 10:23pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:52am<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:48am<b>Kielnmsoftly</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 5:16am<b>graciedarl</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:01am<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 10:21am

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML

#10512459
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8487) - you deserved it (43385)

On 05/13/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by errints234234 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I did my laundry. When I took it out, everything was clean, including the mouse that had been hiding in it. FML

#9157447
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26802) - you deserved it (4344)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:22am - misc - by socksoffire (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33957) - you deserved it (6845)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

#9037500
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27761) - you deserved it (3844)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by nerdygirl101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML

#8859740
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25943) - you deserved it (2347)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:16am - health - by KateD - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9968) - you deserved it (38661)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35017) - you deserved it (4532)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML

Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML

#7638803
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27592) - you deserved it (9782)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:59am - love - by thisucks (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

#7594942
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34754) - you deserved it (2101)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30984) - you deserved it (4391)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML

#7416105
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28225) - you deserved it (2100)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:28am - misc - by over_protected (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I rang my dad to tell him and my half-sister that I'm finally engaged. I then asked my half-sister to tell my stepmother. Still on speaker, I heard her run upstairs and pass the good news on. My stepmother responded with 'Cery who?', followed by 'So what? I can't stand her'. I'm Cery. FML

#7376584
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29297) - you deserved it (2174)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by ThatCery (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML

#7335788
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27880) - you deserved it (6429)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma. FML

#7306926
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41645) - you deserved it (2224)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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