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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13268
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>ccr386590</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Skarlun</b> - yesterday at 5:15pm<b>tigersman1c</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 7:49am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:34am<b>besosforme</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 2:47am<b>Celeden</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:03am<b>AmeliaPond21042</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 6:21pm<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 9:40pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 6:49pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:36pm<b>krispy_kreme792</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 6:38am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 6:51pm<b>pdp</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 5:20am<b>Cristian89</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 12:58pm<b>Esoomian</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:32pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 6:48pm<b>holly_fly</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:49pm

Fucked!<b>Skarlun</b> - yesterday at 11:16pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:49am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 6:50pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 5:43am<b>mehibud</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 2:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:51pm<b>alexalexalex10</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:22pm<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 10:00am<b>jonloran</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:30am<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 8:44am<b>a816090</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:55pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 9:39pm<b>Candace7</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:38am<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:02pm<b>Allnightampm</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 2:00pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:16am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:06am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 7:51pm

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8965) - you deserved it (45001)

On 05/13/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by errints234234 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I did my laundry. When I took it out, everything was clean, including the mouse that had been hiding in it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29965) - you deserved it (4649)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:22am - misc - by socksoffire (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36728) - you deserved it (7252)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29325) - you deserved it (4016)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by nerdygirl101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29507) - you deserved it (2597)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:16am - health - by KateD - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10912) - you deserved it (40876)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38335) - you deserved it (4898)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML

Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (10380)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:59am - love - by thisucks (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37509) - you deserved it (2312)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34814) - you deserved it (4772)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30726) - you deserved it (2297)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:28am - misc - by over_protected (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I rang my dad to tell him and my half-sister that I'm finally engaged. I then asked my half-sister to tell my stepmother. Still on speaker, I heard her run upstairs and pass the good news on. My stepmother responded with 'Cery who?', followed by 'So what? I can't stand her'. I'm Cery. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31243) - you deserved it (2336)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by ThatCery (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (29497) - you deserved it (6657)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45507) - you deserved it (2483)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

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