bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

42Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15433
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>Talis99</b> - yesterday at 6:42am<b>Bullshitticus</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 8:31am<b>TheRealStunts</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 1:05am<b>username_taken1</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:38pm<b>cassiet</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:58pm<b>IrishRaven</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:57am<b>Mewling_Quim</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 4:26am<b>DMEN469</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 4:38pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 8:43am<b>brianna1494</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 4:49pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 7:28am<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 4:53pm<b>kkowal</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 4:51pm<b>S_Melh</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 9:22am<b>fuckit10000</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 4:06am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 9:10am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 10:52am<b>Masturdebater</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 4:15pm

Fucked!<b>Pinkgal123</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 1:28pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 3:05pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 1:36pm<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 11:16am<b>skydye420</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 2:15pm<b>RabijaBegic56</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 1:37am<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 10:26pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:48am<b>spn_fanboy14</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:19pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:00pm<b>fatman1970</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 9:37am<b>dno79</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:56pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:13pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:17pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:06am<b>Skarlun</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:16pm

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML

by errints234234 / 05/13/2010 at 7:31pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I did my laundry. When I took it out, everything was clean, including the mouse that had been hiding in it. FML

by socksoffire / 03/17/2010 at 11:22am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 8:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

by nerdygirl101 / 03/13/2010 at 12:27am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML

by KateD / 03/06/2010 at 12:16am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

by ItHurtsLIkeHell / 03/01/2010 at 4:13am / Malaysia (Pulau Pinang) / Animals

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

by justme / 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm / Kids

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML

Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML

by thisucks / 01/28/2010 at 8:59am / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Love

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

by newniece / 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML

by over_protected / 01/18/2010 at 7:28am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rang my dad to tell him and my half-sister that I'm finally engaged. I then asked my half-sister to tell my stepmother. Still on speaker, I heard her run upstairs and pass the good news on. My stepmother responded with 'Cery who?', followed by 'So what? I can't stand her'. I'm Cery. FML

by ThatCery / 01/16/2010 at 11:29am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML

by anun / 01/14/2010 at 9:06am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2010 at 8:39pm / United States (New York) / Love