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bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8562
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>abattior</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:41pm<b>CrazyZebra</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:07am<b>drummer1017</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:00am<b>edvin</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:29am<b>princessluka</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:11am<b>thirdwheel69</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:02am<b>Imjuststr8n4sty</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:13am<b>kitcat517</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:53pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:50pm<b>aron1991</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:40am<b>itzthapopo</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 9:55am<b>misterjg540</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:38pm<b>Nicky816</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:36am<b>clarabulln</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:57pm<b>Hawk3278</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 6:08pm<b>20minutesto9</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:10pm<b>melody309</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:42pm<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:21pm

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

#13840378
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25981) - you deserved it (7216)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm - kids - by nicki - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

#13829290
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28949) - you deserved it (3198)

On 11/13/2010 at 4:45pm - love - by girlwithaprob (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML

#13520163
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42151) - you deserved it (9814)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:47am - love - by iprobablyhaveherpes - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, we were playing a game at work where whenever someone is in the washroom, we throw a 2 inch lug nut at the door because it makes a huge bang and scares whoever is in there. I was just opening the door to exit when someone threw the nut. It hit me in the face. FML

#13383261
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10830) - you deserved it (24329)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by PunctureWound - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML

#13370943
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25347) - you deserved it (5350)

On 10/08/2010 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML

#13273071
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22256) - you deserved it (19801)

On 10/01/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by rosmaizura (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9990) - you deserved it (32961)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents threw out the beautiful birthday cake my aunt made me, and served celery sticks at my party because "I need to watch my weight." FML

#12716551
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33909) - you deserved it (5690)

On 08/24/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by jace17 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7016) - you deserved it (43004)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML

#12296096
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6101) - you deserved it (48620)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:19pm - misc - by bitch (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a close friend pointed out to me how ironic it is that I make the Sim version of myself work out to lose weight, while I sit on my fat ass playing video games. FML

#11318182
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9156) - you deserved it (47964)

On 06/19/2010 at 8:40pm - health - by Grace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable pleasure. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had cramp in both my legs at the same time. FML

#11236853
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31286) - you deserved it (7157)

On 06/16/2010 at 7:32am - intimacy - by kitkat1603 (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML

#10962269
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35267) - you deserved it (14072)

On 06/04/2010 at 5:38am - love - by badsinger (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML

#10945520
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44391) - you deserved it (24460)

On 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Allie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

#10796974
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38961) - you deserved it (2874)

On 05/27/2010 at 10:06am - misc - by reginaphalange - Australia (New South Wales)



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