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bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

18Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12454
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - 4 hours ago<b>llamingo</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Loomunati</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:34am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:27pm<b>kingbubbles</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:22pm<b>Soparot</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:31am<b>Tavris</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 3:09pm<b>helen_ellexo</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:06am<b>dsousa</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:52am<b>theswanlake</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:19pm<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:54am<b>player20270</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:01am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:51pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:28am<b>gunnerette</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 4:31am<b>kaylizs</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:45pm<b>Camwentz</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:47am

Fucked!<b>alexalexalex10</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:22pm<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 10:00am<b>jonloran</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:30am<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 8:44am<b>a816090</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:55pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 9:39pm<b>Candace7</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:38am<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:02pm<b>Allnightampm</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 2:00pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:16am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:06am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 7:51pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 10:23pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:52am<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:48am<b>Kielnmsoftly</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 5:16am<b>graciedarl</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:01am<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 10:21am

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

#15098131
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30277) - you deserved it (8956)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by JustADream (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

#15062819
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29343) - you deserved it (5538)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Karl -

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

#14943630
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57884) - you deserved it (4421)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML

#14820384
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38734) - you deserved it (22629)

On 02/02/2011 at 11:46pm - misc - by Username -

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

#14719837
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23800) - you deserved it (7287)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out how hard a lemon is to the nuts when being hurled by an angry girlfriend for losing at Wii Sports. FML

#14654944
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27170) - you deserved it (4750)

On 01/20/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by neverhavingkids (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first job interview in months. The interviewer started by introducing herself and asking how I was. I got caught between introducing myself and telling her how I was and replied "I'm Kate thanks". FML

#14574476
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18840) - you deserved it (4873)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:51am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML

#14542234
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29714) - you deserved it (3882)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, some of my classmates brought cupcakes to celebrate my birthday. I took the leftovers with me after class, and when my mom picked me up from school, she asked, "What are the cupcakes for?" FML

#14542119
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31729) - you deserved it (2487)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by bdayboy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

#14090266
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6293) - you deserved it (62706)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

#14081399
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28587) - you deserved it (6055)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65772) - you deserved it (5193)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

#13994749
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29624) - you deserved it (14184)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12073) - you deserved it (27719)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

#13840378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28207) - you deserved it (7579)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm - kids - by nicki - United States (Illinois)



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