bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

44Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16957
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: [email protected] ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>atradr</b> - the 12/08/2016 at 11:24pm<b>cayteaaaa</b> - the 12/07/2016 at 8:37am<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 5:04pm<b>ozzytiff</b> - the 11/23/2016 at 1:37pm<b>ezzala</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 9:31pm<b>TigranPet</b> - the 11/10/2016 at 2:50pm<b>LadyGreenShoes</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 5:39am<b>joco4</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 3:28am<b>PsychoBoulevard</b> - the 10/28/2016 at 1:34am<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 10:30am<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 8:43pm<b>cyb3rbyte</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 8:07am<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 6:37am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 10:43am<b>lost7702</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 2:13pm<b>TecoChaparro</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 6:57pm<b>mehibud</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 6:51pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 9:22pm

Fucked!<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 10/26/2016 at 2:43am<b>cyb3rbyte</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 2:07pm<b>Pinkgal123</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 1:28pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 3:05pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 1:36pm<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 11:16am<b>skydye420</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 2:15pm<b>RabijaBegic56</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 1:37am<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 10:26pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:48am<b>spn_fanboy14</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:19pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:00pm<b>fatman1970</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 9:37am<b>dno79</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:56pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:13pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:17pm

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

by JustADream / 02/24/2011 at 1:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

by Karl / 02/21/2011 at 6:43am / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML

by Username / 02/02/2011 at 11:46pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

by knickersdontfit / 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I found out how hard a lemon is to the nuts when being hurled by an angry girlfriend for losing at Wii Sports. FML

by neverhavingkids / 01/20/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I had my first job interview in months. The interviewer started by introducing herself and asking how I was. I got caught between introducing myself and telling her how I was and replied "I'm Kate thanks". FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 2:51am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 4:43am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, some of my classmates brought cupcakes to celebrate my birthday. I took the leftovers with me after class, and when my mom picked me up from school, she asked, "What are the cupcakes for?" FML

by bdayboy / 01/11/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 12:13am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 6:23am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

by mrdentist / 12/02/2010 at 8:20am / Love

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 12:57am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

by blackitalian / 11/26/2010 at 10:43am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

by nicki / 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids