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bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8567
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>abattior</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:41pm<b>CrazyZebra</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:07am<b>drummer1017</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:00am<b>edvin</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:29am<b>princessluka</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:11am<b>thirdwheel69</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:02am<b>Imjuststr8n4sty</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:13am<b>kitcat517</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:53pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:50pm<b>aron1991</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:40am<b>itzthapopo</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 9:55am<b>misterjg540</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:38pm<b>Nicky816</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:36am<b>clarabulln</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:57pm<b>Hawk3278</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 6:08pm<b>20minutesto9</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:10pm<b>melody309</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:42pm<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:21pm

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45882) - you deserved it (4201)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

#15098131
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29017) - you deserved it (8824)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by JustADream (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

#15062819
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (5318)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Karl -

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

#14943630
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55017) - you deserved it (4246)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML

#14820384
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37192) - you deserved it (21882)

On 02/02/2011 at 11:46pm - misc - by Username -

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

#14719837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23423) - you deserved it (7257)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out how hard a lemon is to the nuts when being hurled by an angry girlfriend for losing at Wii Sports. FML

#14654944
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25001) - you deserved it (4556)

On 01/20/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by neverhavingkids (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first job interview in months. The interviewer started by introducing herself and asking how I was. I got caught between introducing myself and telling her how I was and replied "I'm Kate thanks". FML

#14574476
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18529) - you deserved it (4850)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:51am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML

#14542234
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29332) - you deserved it (3860)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, some of my classmates brought cupcakes to celebrate my birthday. I took the leftovers with me after class, and when my mom picked me up from school, she asked, "What are the cupcakes for?" FML

#14542119
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29407) - you deserved it (2319)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by bdayboy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

#14090266
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5531) - you deserved it (59066)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

#14081399
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27467) - you deserved it (5943)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62007) - you deserved it (4879)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

#13994749
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29246) - you deserved it (14105)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

#13986029
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11878) - you deserved it (27445)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States



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