About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality
My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..
Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more
I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me
I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people
I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.
Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38376) - you deserved it (19507)
On 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Allie - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33646) - you deserved it (2166)
On 05/27/2010 at 10:06am - misc - by reginaphalange - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mom bought me some expensive Japanese candy. I opened it, and saw that each chewy candy was wrapped in a thin, hard to peel off wrapper. After trying to get each wrapper off, I determined they were unopen-able and threw them away. I then read the box, saying the wrappers were edible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4808) - you deserved it (36314)
On 05/20/2010 at 8:37am - misc - by Candy - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6017) - you deserved it (29798)
On 05/13/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by errints234234 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25919) - you deserved it (5130)
On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19893) - you deserved it (2655)
On 03/13/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by nerdygirl101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19632) - you deserved it (1676)
On 03/06/2010 at 12:16am - health - by KateD - United States (Illinois)
Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7164) - you deserved it (27295)
On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)
Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29411) - you deserved it (3942)
On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version
Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (13442)
Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21361) - you deserved it (7655)
On 01/28/2010 at 8:59am - love - by thisucks (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26764) - you deserved it (1442)
On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23053) - you deserved it (3236)
On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21919) - you deserved it (1472)
On 01/18/2010 at 7:28am - misc - by over_protected (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I rang my dad to tell him and my half-sister that I'm finally engaged. I then asked my half-sister to tell my stepmother. Still on speaker, I heard her run upstairs and pass the good news on. My stepmother responded with 'Cery who?', followed by 'So what? I can't stand her'. I'm Cery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21935) - you deserved it (1442)
On 01/16/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by ThatCery (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)
Monday 20 May 2013
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