Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12996
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>paskievitchjack</b> - yesterday at 9:39pm<b>tonedef456</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 9:18pm<b>rissamarie</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 4:04pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 11:03pm<b>Warnorse</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 7:50pm<b>Loyalteez</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 3:37pm<b>ThatOneChick856</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 8:13pm<b>Elainacs</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 10:38am<b>IridianShadow</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 2:37pm<b>pandora_star</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 1:28pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 10:35am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 7:41pm<b>RawritsYoshi</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 11:07am<b>Necropool</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 4:29am<b>frazer94</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 9:20pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 1:20am<b>RichieRichhh</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:40pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:41pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:51pm<b>alexalexalex10</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:22pm<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 10:00am<b>jonloran</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:30am<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 8:44am<b>a816090</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:55pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 9:39pm<b>Candace7</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:38am<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:02pm<b>Allnightampm</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 2:00pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:16am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:06am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 7:51pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 10:23pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:52am<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:48am<b>Kielnmsoftly</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 5:16am<b>graciedarl</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:01am

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32136) - you deserved it (9180)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by JustADream (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32151) - you deserved it (5667)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Karl -

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59076) - you deserved it (4513)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40326) - you deserved it (23472)

On 02/02/2011 at 11:46pm - misc - by Username -

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26434) - you deserved it (7684)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out how hard a lemon is to the nuts when being hurled by an angry girlfriend for losing at Wii Sports. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28100) - you deserved it (4835)

On 01/20/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by neverhavingkids (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first job interview in months. The interviewer started by introducing herself and asking how I was. I got caught between introducing myself and telling her how I was and replied "I'm Kate thanks". FML


I agree, your life sucks (21229) - you deserved it (5150)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:51am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32767) - you deserved it (4185)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, some of my classmates brought cupcakes to celebrate my birthday. I took the leftovers with me after class, and when my mom picked me up from school, she asked, "What are the cupcakes for?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (32724) - you deserved it (2560)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by bdayboy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML


I agree, your life sucks (6438) - you deserved it (63344)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30702) - you deserved it (6303)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (66676) - you deserved it (5263)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32663) - you deserved it (14985)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13713) - you deserved it (29854)

On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29011) - you deserved it (7719)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm - kids - by nicki - United States (Illinois)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: