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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16373
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: [email protected] ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>cyb3rbyte</b> - 17 hours ago<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 4:49pm<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 6:37am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 10:43am<b>lost7702</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 2:13pm<b>TecoChaparro</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 6:57pm<b>mehibud</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 6:51pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 9:22pm<b>kkowal</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 8:31pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 9:06am<b>Talis99</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 6:42am<b>Bullshitticus</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 8:31am<b>TheRealStunts</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 1:05am<b>username_taken1</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:38pm<b>cassiet</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:58pm<b>IrishRaven</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:57am<b>DMEN469</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 4:38pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 8:43am

Fucked!<b>cyb3rbyte</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Pinkgal123</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 1:28pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 3:05pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 1:36pm<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 11:16am<b>skydye420</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 2:15pm<b>RabijaBegic56</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 1:37am<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 10:26pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:48am<b>spn_fanboy14</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:19pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:00pm<b>fatman1970</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 9:37am<b>dno79</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:56pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:13pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:17pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:06am

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2012 at 7:38am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, after 3 nights of insomnia, I was finally able to doze off. My boyfriend woke me up just to ask which soda in the fridge was mine. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2012 at 5:57am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

by PuddlePirate / 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

by divorcee / 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2012 at 11:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I met my husband's family for the first time. My nightmare versions were better. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 4:47am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

by ImOverHere / 09/02/2012 at 12:56pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

by Sarah / 08/30/2012 at 8:58am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I babysat for a woman for the first time. When I arrived, there was a large pile of dishes in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes for her while the kids napped. She came home, noticed it, and bitched me out over how I'd only done it "to try and get more money" out of her. What? FML

by never again / 08/29/2012 at 9:03pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML

by SuzyTurquoiseBlu / 08/29/2012 at 1:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy