About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality
My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..
Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more
I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me
I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people
I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.
Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18144) - you deserved it (1625)
On 09/02/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by ImOverHere (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20219) - you deserved it (1707)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22873) - you deserved it (4390)
On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27048) - you deserved it (1361)
On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)
Today, I babysat for a woman for the first time. When I arrived, there was a large pile of dishes in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes for her while the kids napped. She came home, noticed it, and bitched me out over how I'd only done it "to try and get more money" out of her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (19794) - you deserved it (1129)
On 08/29/2012 at 9:03pm - misc - by never again - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24604) - you deserved it (1122)
On 08/29/2012 at 1:32am - love - by SuzyTurquoiseBlu (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19454) - you deserved it (2465)
On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I'm so broke that I got buyer's remorse after buying a $2 bottle of pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13263) - you deserved it (1409)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:05pm - money - by Tanuki_paws - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25288) - you deserved it (1985)
On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, instead of staying home, I took an hour-long bus ride in the middle of the night to my girlfriend's place because on the phone she said, "I desperately need your body right now". It turned out she was just cold. She is also on her period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11254) - you deserved it (20323)
On 08/23/2012 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Rotarius (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14835) - you deserved it (2396)
On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24883) - you deserved it (5475)
On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15495) - you deserved it (1917)
On 08/16/2012 at 5:57am - work - by Soap0015 - United States
Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18123) - you deserved it (4763)
On 08/15/2012 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by foreveravirgin (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (2817)
On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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