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bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8647
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>vicious_fashion</b> - 19 hours ago<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:05am<b>bscott19</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:49pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:54pm<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:53pm<b>lougled</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 12:11am<b>charissaoz</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:26pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 8:45am<b>randomweirdo</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:05pm<b>justanotherrr</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 7:32am<b>abattior</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:41pm<b>CrazyZebra</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:07am<b>drummer1017</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:00am<b>edvin</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:29am<b>princessluka</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:11am<b>thirdwheel69</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:02am<b>Imjuststr8n4sty</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:13am<b>kitcat517</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:53pm

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

#20072637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22149) - you deserved it (2202)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:07am - health - by Leashaness (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (2542)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23997) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML

#20071462
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25837) - you deserved it (2646)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by MexicanMe (woman) - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML

#20071299
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19540) - you deserved it (12420)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:26am - love - by TallGal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML

#20070762
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26073) - you deserved it (4582)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (7364)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML

#20067411
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you deserved it (1242)

On 09/11/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16984) - you deserved it (67896)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19872) - you deserved it (1934)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

#20064384
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24765) - you deserved it (5998)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

#20063555
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18857) - you deserved it (2534)

On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

#20063395
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17476) - you deserved it (2087)

On 09/08/2012 at 4:32pm - health - by balletteacher - United States

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

#20063309
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19616) - you deserved it (12210)

On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States



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