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bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9418
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>cokeman666</b> - 14 hours ago<b>valerie_273</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:10pm<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:00pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:31pm<b>nfdfhm</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:48pm<b>ifunnyftw</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Jak0p</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 6:25am<b>chalkthewalls</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:54pm<b>cats54321</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 1:58am<b>adamant84</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:31pm<b>the_beagle</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:37am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:20pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 11:53pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 11:48pm<b>artpoooop4569</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 9:10am<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:59am<b>brookiesawr</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 11:30am<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 4:21am

Liked!<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 10:21am

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32657) - you deserved it (6570)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML

#20091884
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20243) - you deserved it (3429)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:09am - love - by unhappy wifey (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23512) - you deserved it (3185)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

#20091024
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16503) - you deserved it (5575)

On 09/27/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28785) - you deserved it (1564)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

#20088123
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29753) - you deserved it (4661)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by orgasmsareoverratedanyway (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML

#20085093
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (1677)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28322) - you deserved it (11199)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20948) - you deserved it (8839)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML

#20083093
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6876) - you deserved it (54765)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59539) - you deserved it (3062)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

#20076781
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17715) - you deserved it (19321)

On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

#20074444
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (53024)

On 09/16/2012 at 11:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML

#20074336
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (3525)

On 09/16/2012 at 9:46am - money - by Anonymous - United States



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