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bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9108
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>mxgirl1998</b> - yesterday at 8:30am<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - yesterday at 10:30pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:23pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:31am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:17pm<b>abattior</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:16pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 8:25pm<b>pete9913</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:14pm<b>infected150</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Batlocirapter</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 8:47am<b>adamant84</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:00pm<b>julianbozikovic</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 2:56pm<b>wysteria14</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 1:27pm<b>michiville</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 7:22pm<b>suckmideck</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 11:48am<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 11:21am<b>Jdlove2</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:01am<b>christinamarie17</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 1:57am

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49332) - you deserved it (4137)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53907) - you deserved it (3460)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

#20747890
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34503) - you deserved it (7027)

On 06/26/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35382) - you deserved it (3003)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69023) - you deserved it (3960)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65693) - you deserved it (18725)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

#20677224
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35174) - you deserved it (2871)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML

#20654383
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49360) - you deserved it (3778)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:01pm - love - by paintfarts1976 (woman) - Ireland (Westmeath)

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

#20632537
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40833) - you deserved it (18037)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63713) - you deserved it (3051)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

#20581005
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41210) - you deserved it (2194)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was chatting online with a guy I really like, when he used the word "irregardless." I couldn't help but mention how little sense it makes, since it's a combination of two words meaning roughly the same thing. He replied, "lol what? your stupid." Jesus Christ. FML

#20576546
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31164) - you deserved it (8972)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by pot, meet kettle (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear my "shit music" through my window during the afternoon, so I turned it off. They then began to play their definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. FML

#20567871
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52301) - you deserved it (4838)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:24am - misc - by BornInTheWrongEra (woman) - United States

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

#20557646
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31228) - you deserved it (12735)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37251) - you deserved it (2860)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada



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