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bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

33Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13686
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>Siehnados</b> - 23 minutes ago<b>sleepwalker13</b> - yesterday at 11:05pm<b>smrn95</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 4:21pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:22pm<b>JewKnowIt</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 7:30pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:00pm<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:01pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 4:36pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 10:03am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:48pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 1:33am<b>dno79</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:50am<b>laurenada</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 1:50pm<b>spn_fanboy14</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:19pm<b>MainCreator</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 8:22pm<b>TheLynx</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 4:34pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 4:02am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 2:46pm

Fucked!<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:48am<b>spn_fanboy14</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:19pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:00pm<b>fatman1970</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 9:37am<b>dno79</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:56pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:13pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:17pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:06am<b>Skarlun</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 11:16pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:49am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 6:50pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 5:43am<b>mehibud</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 2:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:51pm<b>alexalexalex10</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:22pm<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 10:00am<b>jonloran</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:30am

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML

#21006865
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35782) - you deserved it (2645)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57989) - you deserved it (3276)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

#20971142
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45511) - you deserved it (5667)

On 11/26/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by HaedLei (woman) - United States

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45247) - you deserved it (5621)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53052) - you deserved it (4531)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

#20904715
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54346) - you deserved it (3245)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm - health - by 94lbs of muscle -

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52933) - you deserved it (6883)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Snapchat. FML

#20891755
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46476) - you deserved it (4028)

On 09/22/2013 at 4:41pm - misc - by mish (woman) - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69963) - you deserved it (6787)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

#20889340
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47485) - you deserved it (21043)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

#20889279
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45614) - you deserved it (10478)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML

#20876171
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57707) - you deserved it (12774)

On 09/10/2013 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by CityBoysNow - United States (Missouri)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
534 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19626) - you deserved it (141803)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48502) - you deserved it (20412)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46651) - you deserved it (7827)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States



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