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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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bittersweets

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bittersweets
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17702
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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bittersweets's favorite FMLs

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

#6594462 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (28785) - you deserved it (3383)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:55am - health - by harry (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

#6475314 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (8712) - you deserved it (17689)

On 11/27/2009 at 5:11am - misc - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, a man stopped me to tell me I was the most beautiful woman he'd seen all day. He promptly followed that up with: "Then again, you are the only woman I've seen today, so, it can only go up from here." FML

#6447194 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (21783) - you deserved it (1872)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by saywhatnow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that if you are too lazy to get completely dressed in the morning and only put on a top, you should not answer a Skype video call from your boss that involves you standing up, turning around and grabbing files from your filing cabinet all in clear view of your web cam. FML

#6264237 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (4878) - you deserved it (25206)

On 11/11/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by julie (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML

#5789871 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (21006) - you deserved it (2745)

On 10/12/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by ohgosh (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML

#5519699 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (37408) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML

#4801141 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (41037) - you deserved it (1808)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (16458) - you deserved it (27809)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

#4434062 (392)

I agree, your life sucks (56107) - you deserved it (20527)

On 08/10/2009 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by gorgeousrenthead (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML

#4332975 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (40839) - you deserved it (3150)

On 08/06/2009 at 11:40am - misc - by daddysboy123 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, after my girlfriend of 2 years left me for another guy, I got stuck in an elevator for 3 hours. With both of them. FML

#3926202 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (52906) - you deserved it (1754)

On 07/21/2009 at 9:41am - love - by ntm690 (man) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancee, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancee for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337 (389)

I agree, your life sucks (201109) - you deserved it (7591)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (80425) - you deserved it (15490)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (49037) - you deserved it (14883)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML

#1429978 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (52748) - you deserved it (3684)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by unlolable4321 (woman) - United States (New York)