Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bitchwhore

Search for a member

bitchwhore

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3783
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About bitchwhore : There's not much to me. I'm a teenager. I love music. I have a tumblr. I'm really boring lol but if you wanna talk to me, go ahead

Wow also I hate my username so don't judge me on that, I made this account like 2 years ago.

It's about time I add to this, hm? Okay. I love a band called the Maine. Their music is my world. I sit at home and browse Reddit a lot, and lately I've been watching Tobuscus on YouTube (so many videos over his channels omg). I like to sing, act, write... I'm good at a lot of things, but I'm not great at anything (yet).

Also I'm super single and pansexual. I'm bored and lonely, so message me(:

bitchwhore's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:54pm<b>katiebug2968</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:49pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:59pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 1:18am<b>mcmuffinman1</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:43am<b>Shals</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 1:35am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 2:50pm<b>threer</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 1:15pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 4:38pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 7:33pm<b>grievousgirl</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 4:28am<b>Sjus</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 8:20am<b>ljcarranza</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 4:08am<b>Denny1</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 8:29pm<b>Sir_ND_Pity</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 11:37pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 11:34am<b>Cristian89</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 8:28am<b>luminis12</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 7:55am

bitchwhore's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bitchwhore's badges

bitchwhore's favorite FMLs

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46427) - you deserved it (3967)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34660) - you deserved it (3395)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31277) - you deserved it (5371)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28742) - you deserved it (3152)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30735) - you deserved it (8784)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28619) - you deserved it (7151)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

#20434205
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35996) - you deserved it (3719)

On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39574) - you deserved it (4957)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48980) - you deserved it (10225)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32535) - you deserved it (9106)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (12848)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

#20397631
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9098) - you deserved it (27804)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:04am - animals - by catlover - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26707) - you deserved it (6287)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: