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birdfreak

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birdfreak

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13117
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
Have a lovely day!

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birdfreak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57638) - you deserved it (17274)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, while spray painting a rocking horse for my kids I left the can outside in the sun. When I picked it up it was hot to the touch and I dropped it. It exploded on impact and now I am more blue than the rocking horse. FML

#4083142
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37558) - you deserved it (19884)

On 07/27/2009 at 4:08pm - animals - by usafprog (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I took the bus to Boston. My bike is in Boston. My bike lock is in Boston. The key is in New York. FML

#4035299
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14105) - you deserved it (33822)

On 07/25/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by zinka - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking around in a park when I pass some kids playing soccer. One of them kicks the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily I catch the ball. Then I drop kick the ball, intending to say "go get it." Instead it ricochets of a nearby tree and hits my face. FML

#4028166
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16950) - you deserved it (42423)

On 07/25/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by PeterRabit (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML

#4026521
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8197) - you deserved it (80232)

On 07/25/2009 at 7:30am - kids - by BlueBaby123 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML

#3973803
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58025) - you deserved it (8242)

On 07/23/2009 at 7:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML

#3894865
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53816) - you deserved it (3108)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

#3799084
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39250) - you deserved it (12684)

On 07/16/2009 at 11:02am - kids - by porkeater (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML

#3655783
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7549) - you deserved it (52999)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Name (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

#3476155
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36256) - you deserved it (6395)

On 07/04/2009 at 8:10am - health - by michellekel (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her "if I want to have sex I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you marry". She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

#3452744
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36539) - you deserved it (7771)

On 07/03/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by senelbeat - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

#3380486
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47031) - you deserved it (18147)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11316) - you deserved it (50439)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I left my brand new iPod Touch outside. There had been a drought for the past 3 weeks. Not anymore. FML

#3292692
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11427) - you deserved it (63109)

On 06/28/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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