Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

billionair11

Offline (the 10/27/2014 at 9:16pm) | Search for a member

billionair11

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 October 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2563
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About billionair11 : Fun guy with a S**t life

billionair11's page activity

Visits<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 10:40pm<b>z0mBi3kiTTy</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:49pm<b>Fierce_Cat_</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 8:04pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:40pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 4:28am<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Devyn333</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:29pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:18pm<b>hedgehogman123</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:09pm<b>xSupah</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:33am<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:54am<b>katydid91</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:40pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:32am<b>jrod9327</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:39pm<b>aeore</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:29pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:51pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:31pm<b>anonymous248</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:41am

billionair11's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of billionair11's badges

billionair11's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44244) - you deserved it (3284)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

#20554757
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (3149)

On 03/22/2013 at 6:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

#20508072
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39414) - you deserved it (2619)

On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

#20497288
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28934) - you deserved it (2115)

On 02/07/2013 at 5:56pm - misc - by fineillpissthebedthen (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

#20479262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27901) - you deserved it (5118)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:42am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38420) - you deserved it (4816)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45413) - you deserved it (2852)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39626) - you deserved it (4960)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML

#20425281
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32828) - you deserved it (2026)

On 12/27/2012 at 3:52am - work - by Ross R - United States (Washington)

Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML

#20411999
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23258) - you deserved it (2603)

On 12/21/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by judge not, ye cunt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56619) - you deserved it (3839)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

#20177886
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you deserved it (1526)

On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27088) - you deserved it (3073)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

#20168309
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28224) - you deserved it (1584)

On 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm - kids - by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: