Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

billionair11

Online | Search for a member

billionair11

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 October 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1713
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About billionair11 : Fun guy with a S**t life

billionair11's page activity

Visits<b>buckydargon</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:18pm<b>hedgehogman123</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:09pm<b>xSupah</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:33am<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:54am<b>katydid91</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:40pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:32am<b>jrod9327</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:39pm<b>aeore</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:29pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:51pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:31pm<b>anonymous248</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:41am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:50pm<b>angelk19</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:42pm<b>nennabug9911</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 5:03pm<b>Mikenator23</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:25pm<b>z0mBi3kiTTy</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:19am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:53pm

billionair11's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of billionair11's badges

billionair11's favorite FMLs

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

#20755685
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47360) - you deserved it (18254)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48835) - you deserved it (3131)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, I found the purse that some asshat stole from my 15-year-old sister a few days ago. I found it in my now ex-boyfriend's closet. When I confronted him, he broke up with me for "invading" his privacy and kicked me out, without the purse. FML

#20754769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42951) - you deserved it (3470)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56344) - you deserved it (9071)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, the stalker flatmate who has been obsessed with me since I first moved into the flat two years ago, graduated. Apparently he told everyone we are an item, because his parents and relatives were smiling and taking pictures of me from their seats two rows ahead of mine at the ceremony. FML

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49157) - you deserved it (4660)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

#20748752
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39209) - you deserved it (3461)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by MadMax - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML

#20746334
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39638) - you deserved it (3516)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by couch girl - Singapore

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

#20743925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45651) - you deserved it (2733)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:38am - money - by pumboc (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58604) - you deserved it (3815)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, at work, a woman demanded a refund for a video game. She had no receipt, so due to company policy, I couldn't refund her. She reacted by loudly accusing me of being racist, then yelled that she'd see me in court as she finally stormed out. FML

#20737368
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42737) - you deserved it (2731)

On 06/20/2013 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

#20736762
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48856) - you deserved it (3153)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:35am - money - by what_the_hell (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and my neighbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at my parents about my "addiction" to marijuana. When my parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. FML

Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML

#20734756
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45062) - you deserved it (3717)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: