Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

billionair11

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

billionair11

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 October 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1970
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About billionair11 : Fun guy with a S**t life

billionair11's page activity

Visits<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 4:28am<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Devyn333</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:29pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:18pm<b>hedgehogman123</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:09pm<b>xSupah</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:33am<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:54am<b>katydid91</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:40pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:32am<b>jrod9327</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:39pm<b>aeore</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:29pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:51pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:31pm<b>anonymous248</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:41am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:50pm<b>angelk19</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:42pm<b>nennabug9911</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 5:03pm

billionair11's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of billionair11's badges

billionair11's favorite FMLs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47318) - you deserved it (6011)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22231) - you deserved it (4638)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

#20143987
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21364) - you deserved it (2287)

On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

#20134676
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30648) - you deserved it (1753)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

#20117313
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (2522)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

#20085361
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16961) - you deserved it (1687)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:05pm - misc - by future MIL slasher (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

#20051466
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25367) - you deserved it (2072)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I babysat for a woman for the first time. When I arrived, there was a large pile of dishes in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes for her while the kids napped. She came home, noticed it, and bitched me out over how I'd only done it "to try and get more money" out of her. What? FML

#20048491
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (1717)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:03pm - misc - by never again - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML

#20027507
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30443) - you deserved it (1673)

On 08/18/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

#20018767
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28691) - you deserved it (1970)

On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31093) - you deserved it (8573)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML

#19974193
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (2125)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by XxFA1LxX - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34437) - you deserved it (3002)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

#19908128
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33825) - you deserved it (1587)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States

Today, I had an hour long meeting with my manager where she informed me the reason I had not been promoted is because she felt that people would not like to work for me, because I would, "make them do their job." FML

#19811134
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24309) - you deserved it (1687)

On 06/19/2012 at 3:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: