Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 August 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 262
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About bill929 : Yes I'm an Aussie and yes I ride a Kangaroo to work and no I don't drink Fosters it tastes like shit and it's not even made in Australia.

bill929's page activity

Visits<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 7:46pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 8:43pm<b>forchane</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 9:18pm<b>DJ_Lyons</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 7:15pm<b>MythicalPanda</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 10:14pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 2:25pm<b>caffeinated4</b> - the 07/19/2011 at 10:41pm

bill929's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of bill929's badges

bill929's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home after a short trip. Walking through the door, an overpowering smell indicated that in my rush to leave I'd forgotten to bring the cat litter tray indoors. The place was covered in cat urine. It was as if I'd created a cycling ecosystem of evaporated urine turning into urine rain-clouds. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11986) - you deserved it (27524)

On 11/03/2011 at 1:18am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29623) - you deserved it (35016)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25600) - you deserved it (17862) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22301) - you deserved it (46765)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15722) - you deserved it (32627)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:23pm - intimacy - by RobinBunny713 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31665) - you deserved it (44280)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:07am - kids - by oldmama728 -

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8514) - you deserved it (85971)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14831) - you deserved it (45299)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:32pm - misc - by NoMoreHeadphones (woman) - United States (New York)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: