bigruebs

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Offline (the 11/28/2014 at 7:19pm)

bigruebs

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  • Number of visits : 1075
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bigruebs's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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bigruebs's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML

by HoobidibooFox / 11/13/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping, a lady came up to me and asked if she could borrow my baby because, "Y'know, I'm in a hurry and they'll let me checkout first." FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2014 at 6:48pm / France / Kids

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

by lady parts / 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my friend drove up a parking lot and I unbuckled my seatbelt as soon as we were parked. He then suddenly saw a better spot right in front and moved his car. When I got out, a police officer approached me, saying I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. I was fined for that. FML

by TinyBouvier / 10/27/2014 at 4:04am / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

by mellielynnemily / 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm / United States / Love

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

by Alexismaria / 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Kids

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

by Awkward / 10/21/2014 at 8:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Geek

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

by John / 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

by Bartender / 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

by burritobreasts / 10/15/2014 at 2:27am / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

by datgurllllukno / 10/15/2014 at 2:26am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as I was about to leave home for my first sweet taste of freedom at my new apartment, my car died. I'm stuck here for at least the weekend and can look forward to my mom driving me to work. Freedom. FML

by gonesofast / 10/09/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm / United States (Washington) / Health