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bigrednsu11's favorite FMLs
Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML
by facepalm / 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML
by screaming monkey / 04/04/2012 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead) / Health
Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML
by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 1:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, after asking my manager how his day was going he explained that he stopped drinking and was… Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today, as I swung my leg over the baby gate on the stairs my foot decided to make contact with the…
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a…