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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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bigraws23

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bigraws23
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2064
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bigraws23's favorite FMLs

Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML

I agree, your life sucks (17482) - you deserved it (1483)

On 09/12/2009 at 3:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

I agree, your life sucks (39079) - you deserved it (5365)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (10138)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML

#4393930 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (42474) - you deserved it (8202)

On 08/08/2009 at 9:41pm - intimacy - by blank13 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086 (384)

I agree, your life sucks (47711) - you deserved it (20011)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going to surprise my boyfriend at his family birthday celebration with a $2,000 trip he's always wanted, Ireland. Right before my gift, he had opened his mother's gift, an envelope containing a plane ticket. Guess where it was going? FML

#3949240 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (36276) - you deserved it (3104)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:11am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

#3830576 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (21342) - you deserved it (61693)

On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

#3684210 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (58866) - you deserved it (9177)

On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks (36607) - you deserved it (1842)

On 07/11/2009 at 8:33pm - work - by cashier (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

#3571839 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (2275)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:02am - kids - by campmom (woman) -

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to become a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

#3503607 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (53069) - you deserved it (2368)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by fd_uplife (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks (39525) - you deserved it (1386)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by hot_mess88 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (55202) - you deserved it (3434)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML

#3338347 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (49441) - you deserved it (3104)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:55pm - misc - by thatCanadianGuy7 - Canada (Alberta)