bigphill1333

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bigphill1333

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2222
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bigphill1333's page activity

Visits<b>nettles12</b> - the 11/07/2016 at 11:15am<b>weedle99</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 1:55pm<b>Etched</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 6:01am<b>motl8</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:15am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 7:11am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:09am<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:50pm<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:43pm<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 1:43am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 4:24pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:16pm<b>mongorian_beef</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:20pm<b>chase201</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 9:19pm<b>Senor_Pehdos</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:29pm<b>Qwermy</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 12:29am<b>Jenny246844</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:22pm<b>banemask</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 1:45am<b>awakward</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 12:20pm

bigphill1333's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

bigphill1333's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got the courage to approach a girl. I've never done anything like this before. She stared me down, not saying a word, until I felt so little that I just walked away. FML

by Mark / 08/13/2009 at 6:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2009 at 7:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML

by ilikemusicokay / 08/08/2009 at 1:04am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

by BigBadTron / 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, one of my teachers asked me to babysit their kids saturday night. She didn't forget that it was Prom night, she was going to chaperone it. My teacher assumed I wasn't invited to Prom... I wasn't. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 6:44am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln / 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2009 at 12:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

by Mulee / 03/07/2009 at 7:03am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids