About bigmike17 : I was born on May 1st 1995 and I was born in Jacksonville, Florida. My favorite color is blue and I love to travel, play video games, sports, watch movies, and be on the Internet.
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Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37830) - you deserved it (3030)
Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13213) - you deserved it (29905)
On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22913) - you deserved it (1912)
On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17715) - you deserved it (5901)
On 01/06/2013 at 3:17am - misc - by kiken.bara - United States
Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21973) - you deserved it (5143)
On 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by single once again (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25656) - you deserved it (5292)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36469) - you deserved it (9576)
On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8798) - you deserved it (21517)
On 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13631) - you deserved it (1625)
On 09/26/2012 at 5:06am - love - by Popscene (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was doing my laundry and I saw a dollar bill at the bottom of the washer. I excitedly dove in to retrieve the money, and promptly hit and broke my nose on the washer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6535) - you deserved it (13812)
On 08/17/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by Megan - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18524) - you deserved it (3434)
On 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12184) - you deserved it (27871)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21386) - you deserved it (3665)
On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16810) - you deserved it (1187)
On 08/07/2012 at 11:15pm - health - by MellyBee - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15139) - you deserved it (1980)
On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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