About bigcrazymike : Marriage has less beauty but more safety than the single life. It’s full of sorrows and full of joys. It lies under more burdens, but it is supported by all the strengths of love, and those burdens are delightful.
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bigcrazymike's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was at work when two sheriff's deputies walked in. They asked me my name and when I told them, they asked me to turn around and they cuffed me. They told me I was under arrest for robbery. Turns out I was mistakenly IDed, but now every one at my job thinks I'm an armed robber. FML
by THATguy / 09/21/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
by Anathema_360 / 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by dreamdude / 09/20/2009 at 9:21am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, I was excited to see my ex-girlfriend. We had broken up while I was in Iraq and I wanted to try to get her back. I spent my first day back looking for a place to live while her and her new boyfriend got it on as I slept. I had chosen that apartment for us and paid for that bed. FML
by isuckatlyfe / 09/20/2009 at 1:04am / United States (Florida) / Love
by singlesailor / 09/19/2009 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Love
by Sadtimes / 09/17/2009 at 1:44pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
by auscop / 09/17/2009 at 6:57am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation
Today, I was arguing with one of my professors. She said that all married couples fight and I told her that my parents have never argued or fought about anything. When I got home my parents told me that they're getting a divorce. FML
by omgstfuplz / 09/16/2009 at 4:38am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
by OhDamn / 09/16/2009 at 2:34am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Love
by sunburychick / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 3:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I hadn't popped the question to her yet. For the last six months, I have been respectfully trying to convince her over protective father to give me his blessing. FML
by K-9cop / 09/09/2009 at 7:11pm / United States / Love
Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML
by Anonymous / 09/08/2009 at 10:04am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML
by SingleGirl / 09/07/2009 at 11:39am / United Kingdom (York) / Love
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…