About bigcrazymike : Marriage has less beauty but more safety than the single life. It’s full of sorrows and full of joys. It lies under more burdens, but it is supported by all the strengths of love, and those burdens are delightful.
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bigcrazymike's favorite FMLs
Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:03am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 10:07pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by expassword / 12/16/2010 at 7:20pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by crazycora / 12/13/2010 at 2:32pm / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Kids
Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML
by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I met my boyfriend's very strict and traditional Korean parents. I had to listen to them while they called me a skank and how I was fat and ugly compared to nice, pretty, Korean girls. They don't know I speak Korean. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 10:03pm / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Love
Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 4:40am / United Kingdom (London) / Love
Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML
by openmouthinsertfoot / 12/07/2010 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy
by newmother / 12/05/2010 at 8:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Health
Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 1:02am / United States (Oklahoma) / Money
Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML
by Jen / 11/08/2010 at 10:36pm / Australia / Money
Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML
by losingit / 10/19/2010 at 12:30am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…