Marriage has less beauty but more safety than the single life. It’s full of sorrows and full of joys. It lies under more burdens, but it is supported by all the strengths of love, and those burdens are delightful.
Today, I helped my little sister sell chocolate bars for her school. We went up to this one house and rang the door bell, a man wearing a robe answers the door and was going to buy one. He went to get the money and left the door open, then we saw our happily married mother in the kitchen naked. FML
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On 02/03/2010 at 7:30pm - misc - by Mac (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my best friend became my ex-best friend. I have finally gotten over the guy she stole from me a year ago and have developed a crush on another guy. My best friend called me today to tell me that she broke up with the first guy and is now going out with my current crush. FML
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On 01/28/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by Cheater_Cheater_Pumpkin_Eater - United States (Michigan)
Today, I spent the day studying with one of my classmates whom I've just met. While studying, she kept bragging about her boyfriend and decided to show me a picture of him. It was my boyfriend. FML
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On 01/16/2010 at 2:17am - misc - by shockedgirl (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I ordered a Diet Coke with my meal from a fast food restaurant. Turns out, they didn't give me diet. My blood sugar spiked and I was sick for hours later. I'm a diabetic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20883) - you totally deserved it (4059)
Today, I found out that my husband never wanted to marry me, he only did because I wouldn't quit pestering him to propose to me. FML
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On 12/12/2009 at 1:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
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On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I recieved a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML
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On 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm - love - by _RobotInDisguise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
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On 12/02/2009 at 6:36am - health - by michelle91 (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
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On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML
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On 11/21/2009 at 3:00am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML
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On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
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On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was looking at the annoucements in the newspaper and find out that my boyfriend of the past 6 years is supposed to be married in 2 days to what I thought was his ex-girlfriend. FML
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On 11/16/2009 at 11:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a surprise birthday party thrown in my honor. All of my friends and family had been invited, and all of the details were perfect. Who threw the party for me? My ex-girlfriend who I dumped last week for "not being thoughtful enough." FML
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On 11/16/2009 at 9:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
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On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)
