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bigbertha22's favorite FMLs
by imgay / 06/22/2015 at 10:20pm / Argentina (Distrito Federal) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML
by baberuth / 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML
by MIB thingy please... / 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy
by Purple / 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML
by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by candy man / 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by gag reflex / 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by SirTalkaton / 08/03/2014 at 1:38pm / United States (California) / Geek
by bad in the sack / 07/05/2014 at 12:26am / United States / Intimacy
by boob sisters / 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia / Health
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…