Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

biasedshooter

Offline (the 04/18/2015 at 1:08am) | Search for a member

biasedshooter

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12362
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics.

biasedshooter's page activity

Visits<b>rainbow_llamas</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:55pm<b>TheSmartAss10</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 3:42pm<b>naTOtheBILL</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 9:24pm<b>m_warner1</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:34am<b>Johnatron</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 4:28pm<b>A07</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:41am<b>Wrex</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:52am<b>arasx0</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:42am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:15am<b>hallieee</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:09am<b>Hime9908</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:29am<b>SAE2016</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:03pm<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:56pm<b>FruitPastels</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:46am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:29pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:45pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:27pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:24pm

Fucked!<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:57pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:28am<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:55am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Endore</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:55am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:54pm<b>HoneyBadgerFury</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:51pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:32am<b>aguynamednick</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:37am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 1:36pm<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:22am<b>Alectrona</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:54pm<b>Coolgo</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:56pm

biasedshooter's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49632) - you deserved it (22264)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (33345)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46179) - you deserved it (5965)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58969) - you deserved it (7507)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39781) - you deserved it (3888)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50708) - you deserved it (11455)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML

#21106771
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37237) - you deserved it (12067)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

#21106348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20177) - you deserved it (38495)

On 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by trp007 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

#21106207
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43244) - you deserved it (3296)

On 04/06/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

#21103818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47572) - you deserved it (3805)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by kubbyp (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45163) - you deserved it (7361)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

#21098671
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38089) - you deserved it (4873)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36777) - you deserved it (5457)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: