About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics. I also misspell alot of things. Deal with it!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15599) - you deserved it (9733)
Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31422) - you deserved it (2927)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)
Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23315) - you deserved it (7724)
On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States
Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19618) - you deserved it (32641) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11394) - you deserved it (24435)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33073) - you deserved it (6508)
On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (7368)
On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31216) - you deserved it (5400)
On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France
Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22869) - you deserved it (5932)
On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (2176)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)
Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22936) - you deserved it (1491)
On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)
Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20676) - you deserved it (3709) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France
Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7316) - you deserved it (23518)
On 12/13/2012 at 6:04am - animals - by catlover - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22068) - you deserved it (3553)
On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States
Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16405) - you deserved it (7928)
On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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