Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

biasedshooter

Offline (the 04/18/2015 at 1:08am) | Search for a member

biasedshooter

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11808
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics.

biasedshooter's page activity

Visits<b>naTOtheBILL</b> - 13 hours ago<b>m_warner1</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:34am<b>Johnatron</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 4:28pm<b>A07</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:41am<b>Wrex</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:52am<b>arasx0</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:42am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:15am<b>hallieee</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:09am<b>Hime9908</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:29am<b>SAE2016</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:03pm<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:56pm<b>FruitPastels</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:46am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:29pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:45pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:27pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:24pm<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:54pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:13pm

Fucked!<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:57pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:28am<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:55am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Endore</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:55am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:54pm<b>HoneyBadgerFury</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:51pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:32am<b>aguynamednick</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:37am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 1:36pm<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:22am<b>Alectrona</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:54pm<b>Coolgo</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:56pm

biasedshooter's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46177) - you deserved it (5260)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

#21238728
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32851) - you deserved it (8022)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Hopeless romantic (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40671) - you deserved it (2924)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49297) - you deserved it (21294)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

#21220246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38673) - you deserved it (6642)

On 07/25/2014 at 11:54am - animals - by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41694) - you deserved it (21442)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40172) - you deserved it (4537)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40371) - you deserved it (6589)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48923) - you deserved it (6980)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42351) - you deserved it (6262)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40561) - you deserved it (6439)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: