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biasedshooter

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biasedshooter
  • Town/Country : TX, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 June 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 6305
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics. I also misspell alot of things. Deal with it!

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biasedshooter's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44769) - you deserved it (16476)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56201) - you deserved it (6634)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73145) - you deserved it (3515)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48957) - you deserved it (8615)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

#20747044
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36392) - you deserved it (4258)

On 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33098) - you deserved it (2793)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

#20732921
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31722) - you deserved it (3128)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45138) - you deserved it (2722)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61853) - you deserved it (2810)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50176) - you deserved it (6220)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41241) - you deserved it (6352)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48326) - you deserved it (57905)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49314) - you deserved it (3448)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28074) - you deserved it (60749)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

#20698927
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43293) - you deserved it (4336)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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