Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

biasedshooter

Online | Search for a member

biasedshooter

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11171
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics.

biasedshooter's page activity

Visits<b>amadeclton</b> - 2 hours ago<b>eleanorrigby90</b> - yesterday at 7:36pm<b>Johnatron</b> - yesterday at 12:24pm<b>bleedingglitter</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 2:06am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:49am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:54pm<b>Unlisshed</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:28am<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:22am<b>JayFuckingHell</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:53pm<b>TheVengefulGeek</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:47am<b>grunt2423</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 12:13am<b>PrinPrinLife</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 6:38pm<b>s0m3guy2010</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 12:26pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 9:34am<b>Alectrona</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 8:21am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:41pm<b>ThatAmericanDude</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 5:37pm<b>SaintJin</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 5:07pm

Liked!<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:22am<b>Alectrona</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:54pm<b>Coolgo</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:56pm

biasedshooter's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20219) - you deserved it (95)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had to go to a public restroom. I have anxiety problems and can't go unless I'm the only one in the room. Another girl came in right after me, and I was waiting for her to leave. She was also waiting. After a while, I left first and had to hold my pee for a few more hours. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52706) - you deserved it (10544)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38456) - you deserved it (14854)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

#21244545
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38612) - you deserved it (3052)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45848) - you deserved it (6043)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50112) - you deserved it (9132)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42209) - you deserved it (5982)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34271) - you deserved it (5694)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45622) - you deserved it (5205)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

#21238728
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32825) - you deserved it (8018)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Hopeless romantic (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40645) - you deserved it (2920)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49276) - you deserved it (21282)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

#21220246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38656) - you deserved it (6638)

On 07/25/2014 at 11:54am - animals - by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: