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biasedshooter

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biasedshooter
  • Town/Country : TX, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 June 1986 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 4233
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics. I also misspell alot of things. Deal with it!

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biasedshooter's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

#168595
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55336) - you deserved it (216002)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

#155544
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18173) - you deserved it (34118)

On 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by bojangles (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (205734) - you deserved it (44854)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
860 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55620) - you deserved it (324479)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML

#141211
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9439) - you deserved it (36987)

On 02/26/2009 at 3:07am - work - by bluecollar (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML

#141211
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9439) - you deserved it (36987)

On 02/26/2009 at 3:07am - work - by bluecollar (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

#132176
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16835) - you deserved it (30839)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

#131042
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45291) - you deserved it (7670)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:25am - work - by yawho (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. While doing arm exercises he commented on how impressed he was with the size of my triceps. That really boosted my self-confidence, until he leaned in to feel them and said, "Oh, it's just fat." FML

#125305
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34805) - you deserved it (5217)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:14pm - health - by Sheezey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13998) - you deserved it (38926)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my crush about making the soccer team. Excited, he congratulated me and asked for my number. I gave him my cellphone number. He laughed and said "your jersey number". FML

#101947
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32951) - you deserved it (9324)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:24am - love - by 987564 (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

#99945
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67073) - you deserved it (5799)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by not getting any anymore (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." and he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail me out. FML

#94927
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36725) - you deserved it (2048)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:22am - work - by Lily (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the beef jerky someone had left on the counter and that I'd been sneaking a few pieces of every morning had a cartoon dog holding two strips of beef jerky. I wondered why nobody else was eating it. It was beef jerky for dogs. FML

#94421
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5943) - you deserved it (36101)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:44am - animals - by Chubsley (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after class, my teacher pulled me aside and said "You know, I never received the e-mail regarding your disabilities that your parents mentioned. Could you have them resend it?" What disabilities? FML

#85475
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41813) - you deserved it (1890)

On 02/20/2009 at 1:16am - work - by Jedi (woman) - United States (California)



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