Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

biasedshooter

Search for a member

biasedshooter

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 June 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7261
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics. I also misspell alot of things. Deal with it!

biasedshooter's page activity

Visits<b>zeriously95</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:19pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:01am<b>wellfme</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:44pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:17am<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:22am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 7:46pm<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:33pm<b>pdp</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 5:41am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 6:16am<b>AllAloneOnTheSea</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 5:27pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 12:08pm<b>jdjackdaniel4</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:32pm<b>kevinE</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 5:42pm<b>pinklala15</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 5:05pm<b>PolarFlair</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 1:39pm<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 11:07am<b>persianninja</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 12:19pm

biasedshooter's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. FML

#20517380
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31948) - you deserved it (3334)

On 02/22/2013 at 9:51am - kids - by Paris101 - United States (Missouri)

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23378) - you deserved it (7057)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6750) - you deserved it (44709)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36902) - you deserved it (9899)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12187) - you deserved it (31529)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (5093)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9338) - you deserved it (31515)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16068) - you deserved it (26982)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30411) - you deserved it (4260)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54939) - you deserved it (10256)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34194) - you deserved it (3021)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

#20493993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7485) - you deserved it (41759)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26752) - you deserved it (3115)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30494) - you deserved it (5414)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML

#20492131
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40440) - you deserved it (4421)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: