Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

biasedshooter

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

biasedshooter

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 June 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15103
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics.

biasedshooter's page activity

Visits<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:51pm<b>iMuffinKat</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:24am<b>DemonicOtaku101</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:05pm<b>LauraAnn33</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:30pm<b>FruitPastels</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 7:15pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 5:45pm<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 1:57pm<b>Psyqiik</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 1:42am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:40pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 8:32am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 11:47am<b>dictatorofpotato</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:00pm<b>homelessandangry</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 8:45pm<b>star97</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:22pm<b>Xsweglord420x</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:41pm<b>zeusdom</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:41pm<b>aguynamednick</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:35pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:51am

Fucked!<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:57pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:28am<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:55am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Endore</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:55am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:54pm<b>HoneyBadgerFury</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:51pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:32am<b>aguynamednick</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:37am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 1:36pm<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:22am<b>Alectrona</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:54pm<b>Coolgo</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:56pm

biasedshooter's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML

#6082159
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7183) - you deserved it (49446)

On 10/31/2009 at 10:30am - health - by alcoholic (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML

#6070693
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10813) - you deserved it (37969)

On 10/30/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by pimdala_major (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML

#6049453
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40952) - you deserved it (3025)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:09am - love - by clueless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

#6034083
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29946) - you deserved it (2956)

On 10/28/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by bubblensuds1 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML

#6026948
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30781) - you deserved it (6356)

On 10/27/2009 at 5:57pm - love - by Queen_of_Night (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19139) - you deserved it (9877)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

#5971650
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37516) - you deserved it (5927)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by nnnaaazzz - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML

#5938772
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20841) - you deserved it (6478)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

#5937584
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33088) - you deserved it (6666)

On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

#5931045
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29866) - you deserved it (4042)

On 10/21/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Busted (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML

#5921538
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8177) - you deserved it (56885)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#5851325
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23938) - you deserved it (4030)

On 10/16/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

#5820033
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9719) - you deserved it (43893)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9615) - you deserved it (45715)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

#5754527
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (4770)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:19am - intimacy - by Taraa3 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: