About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics. I also misspell alot of things. Deal with it!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55702) - you deserved it (2777)
On 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm - kids - by Nottheprettylady (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52836) - you deserved it (7569)
On 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56526) - you deserved it (6642)
On 04/03/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by herANDi - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I passed the girl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H. She picked it up, read it, turned around and asked me, "Do you know who Mark H. is?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (59999) - you deserved it (5431)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by SupaSu - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199310) - you deserved it (58831)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23189) - you deserved it (45926)
On 04/01/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was volunteering at a school, as I walked past the swings these two girls smiled and said "wow, you are so pretty!". I smiled back and said "awww, well thank you!." As I walked past I hear them laughing, "she actually believed us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48068) - you deserved it (4200)
On 03/31/2009 at 11:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82521) - you deserved it (7029)
On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
I agree, your life sucks (17255) - you deserved it (54568)
On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
I agree, your life sucks (17255) - you deserved it (54568)
On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84808) - you deserved it (11959)
On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9084) - you deserved it (133461)
On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I sent my boyfriend of over a year a text message telling him how much I loved him, how perfect he is for me and what I love about him. He sent me back a text saying, "I thought you had class." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46076) - you deserved it (6071)
On 03/28/2009 at 1:38am - love - by Marine (woman) - United States (California)
Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (9974) - you deserved it (113664)
On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (85194) - you deserved it (3575)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by 1234567898765432 - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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