Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

biasedshooter

Online | Search for a member

biasedshooter

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 June 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8436
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics. I also misspell alot of things. Deal with it!

biasedshooter's page activity

Visits<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:40am<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:49pm<b>123765</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:44pm<b>lexiieeex3</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:42am<b>walnutisacat</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:12pm<b>justdiebitches</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:34pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:57am<b>Matrix_Redeemer</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:25am<b>aidanbbb</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:12am<b>CRPSbloke</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:01am<b>kitten1800</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:15am<b>noahx</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:30am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:19pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 8:52pm<b>thee_most_dope</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:30am<b>Falkin0113</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:16pm<b>noah_1234</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:44pm<b>klune</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:27pm

Liked!<b>Coolgo</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:56pm

biasedshooter's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36701) - you deserved it (3417)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

#5358347
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32551) - you deserved it (9130)

On 09/19/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by GodDaughter (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said "Ok, now I can just block every message from you." And walked away from me. FML

#5328809
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42330) - you deserved it (3949)

On 09/18/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

#5325654
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17746) - you deserved it (44604)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27140) - you deserved it (4936)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

#5283658
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33048) - you deserved it (3977)

On 09/15/2009 at 10:43pm - animals - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML

#5269126
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36110) - you deserved it (1938)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:58am - intimacy - by Confused (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, the guy I have been in love with for years decided to tell me all about his women problems and how he can't find someone. After telling him I loved him he responds, "do you know if anyone else does?" FML

#5201884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41951) - you deserved it (3513)

On 09/12/2009 at 3:39am - love - by ksgirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my 11-year-old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach, wearing a bikini. He said "Wow! Who's that?" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said "What happened?" FML

#5164588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36059) - you deserved it (7076)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13352) - you deserved it (48722)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13352) - you deserved it (48722)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I decided to go get my hair cut because it was getting a bit long. I told the lady that I wanted it way short and she replied "Why? You will look like a guy sweetie." I am a guy. FML

#5141424
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40061) - you deserved it (6322)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by theboywithlonghair (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

#5141393
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35915) - you deserved it (5266)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was using a Kodak Picture Maker in Walmart. I needed help using the machine so the lady that works there came over and tried to load my pictures. I heard some snickering behind me from the people in line. Turns out the pictures loaded. Even the nude ones I forgot about. FML

#5064237
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7123) - you deserved it (43188)

On 09/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by indecentcameraexposure (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

#5015078
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8798) - you deserved it (46298)

On 09/03/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by sexyfreak2510 (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: