Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

biasedshooter

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

biasedshooter

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 June 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8005
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics. I also misspell alot of things. Deal with it!

biasedshooter's page activity

Visits<b>RicklePickle</b> - 9 hours ago<b>douglas423</b> - 13 hours ago<b>gokuisthename</b> - 14 hours ago<b>yankfan89</b> - 15 hours ago<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:30pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:21pm<b>osnapitsalexx</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:27am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:59pm<b>philipino</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 6:33pm<b>wow_25</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:42am<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 11:11am<b>Aero_x</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:46am<b>vixenfawkeys</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:10am<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 9:03pm<b>zdane</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:00am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:43pm<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:12pm<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:09pm

biasedshooter's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML

#6186656
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24390) - you deserved it (4801)

On 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11887) - you deserved it (44947)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my good buddy of about two years set me up on a blind date. I got to the meeting point and realized that my date was a guy. My "buddy" honestly thought I was gay. FML

#6086558
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32112) - you deserved it (3916)

On 10/31/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML

#6082159
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5826) - you deserved it (44920)

On 10/31/2009 at 10:30am - health - by alcoholic (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML

#6070693
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9287) - you deserved it (34133)

On 10/30/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by pimdala_major (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML

#6049453
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (2706)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:09am - love - by clueless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

#6034083
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26178) - you deserved it (2662)

On 10/28/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by bubblensuds1 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML

#6026948
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26841) - you deserved it (5898)

On 10/27/2009 at 5:57pm - love - by Queen_of_Night (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15274) - you deserved it (8954)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

#5971650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33422) - you deserved it (5398)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by nnnaaazzz - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML

#5938772
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16874) - you deserved it (5844)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

#5937584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (6216)

On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

#5931045
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25500) - you deserved it (3587)

On 10/21/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Busted (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML

#5921538
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6846) - you deserved it (51918)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#5851325
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20018) - you deserved it (3553)

On 10/16/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: