Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

biasedshooter

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

biasedshooter

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 June 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7825
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics. I also misspell alot of things. Deal with it!

biasedshooter's page activity

Visits<b>osnapitsalexx</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:27am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:59pm<b>philipino</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 6:33pm<b>wow_25</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:42am<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 11:11am<b>Aero_x</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:46am<b>vixenfawkeys</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:10am<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 9:03pm<b>zdane</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:00am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:43pm<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:12pm<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:09pm<b>haddiej</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:08pm<b>Naveed_N</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:49pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:00pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:14pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 7:57am<b>Martijn1102</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 6:25am

biasedshooter's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39862) - you deserved it (3166)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

#6824499
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31082) - you deserved it (2552)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

#6824499
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31082) - you deserved it (2552)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break, I found my brothers PSP charger next to me. Out of boredom I put my tongue on the end on the metal. Not only did it fry my tongue but found its way to my metal filling in my tooth. I now have a sore tongue and a throbbing toothache. FML

#6803548
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4658) - you deserved it (71020)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Shocked (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML

#6774079
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55840) - you deserved it (2365)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by barri (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

#6752282
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33921) - you deserved it (10331)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

#6748934
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32261) - you deserved it (4015)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

#6748353
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9298) - you deserved it (24309)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:49am - health - by WIIslave (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

#6716817
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34465) - you deserved it (6034)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

#6716817
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34465) - you deserved it (6034)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

#6710619
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (9100)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by B-Man (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28124) - you deserved it (4755)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, was my birthday. I have been heavily hinting that I want an iPhone. I opened my present from my parents and found an iPhone box. Ecstatic, I quickly opened it. Apparently, my parents thought it would be funny to wrap my present, a $10 iTunes gift card, in the box my Dad's iPhone came in. FML

#6695365
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (7457)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:38pm - money - by muggle68 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

#6688959
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (2209)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:24am - work - by g_unit (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML

#6645209
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8701) - you deserved it (41456)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by smart phone mms - United States



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: