About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics. I also misspell alot of things. Deal with it!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32290) - you deserved it (10365)
On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38820) - you deserved it (5027)
On 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by shway (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said "Did you have fun at the party?" and I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8894) - you deserved it (43529)
On 07/15/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by far23 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was having dinner with some friends at an Applebees. I couldn't decide on what I wanted, and after about 10 minutes of me flipping through the menu, our waiter brings over the braille menu complete with gigantic pictures of all the dishes and says "Here, I thought this might help." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9911) - you deserved it (37565)
On 07/13/2009 at 10:39pm - misc - by CompleteWithPictures (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd and 5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until I was attacked by a pair of butterflies. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10615) - you deserved it (40451)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:35am - animals - by tryscal - United States (California)
Today, my daughter's handsome new boyfriend came to visit our house. When I opened the door, he asked me where Diana's mother was. I assumed he was about to be charming and say that he thought I was her sister. He didn't. He assumed that I was Diana's grandmother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44532) - you deserved it (4370)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by yesnomaybeso7 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37501) - you deserved it (14156)
On 07/10/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40142) - you deserved it (2431)
On 07/09/2009 at 3:17pm - work - by ST3PH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9599) - you deserved it (40177)
On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52374) - you deserved it (3323)
On 07/09/2009 at 2:33am - intimacy - by Told_You_So (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42791) - you deserved it (5865)
On 07/08/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by disturbed2103 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41605) - you deserved it (2949)
On 07/08/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by ug (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4371) - you deserved it (57221)
On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59859) - you deserved it (2744)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38708) - you deserved it (15914)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by twintowers (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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