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biasedshooter

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biasedshooter
  • Town/Country : TX, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 June 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 6310
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics. I also misspell alot of things. Deal with it!

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biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

#5754527
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13895) - you deserved it (3181)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:19am - intimacy - by Taraa3 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40020) - you deserved it (2866)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/suprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

#5661916
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7874) - you deserved it (29801)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we had a lockdown in our school for 2 hours because a man was sitting outside our school in his car with a gun in hand. I texted my mom telling her what was going on and that it's on the news. She responded saying "I'll tape it". FML

#5605398
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24960) - you deserved it (2382)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by dannyboy1422 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

#5560413
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30113) - you deserved it (3380)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML

#5424504
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32746) - you deserved it (7785)

On 09/23/2009 at 7:10am - love - by Riskreh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was unable to retrieve my old contact list from my old phone, so I sent out a mass email asking my friends to "Give me your contact info, unless you don't want me to text/call you!" No one is responding. FML

#5390873
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28376) - you deserved it (10302)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

#5389854
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38203) - you deserved it (3025)

On 09/21/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Wronged (man) - Singapore

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33942) - you deserved it (3145)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

#5358347
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30276) - you deserved it (8762)

On 09/19/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by GodDaughter (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

#5325654
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15590) - you deserved it (41395)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (4757)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

#5283658
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30880) - you deserved it (3743)

On 09/15/2009 at 10:43pm - animals - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML

#5269126
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (1606)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:58am - intimacy - by Confused (woman) - United States (Hawaii)



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