Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

biasedshooter

Online | Search for a member

biasedshooter

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 June 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8928
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics. I also misspell alot of things. Deal with it!

biasedshooter's page activity

Visits<b>Janawa</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:34pm<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:40am<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:49pm<b>123765</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:44pm<b>lexiieeex3</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:42am<b>walnutisacat</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:12pm<b>justdiebitches</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:34pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:57am<b>Matrix_Redeemer</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:25am<b>aidanbbb</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:12am<b>CRPSbloke</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:01am<b>kitten1800</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:15am<b>noahx</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:30am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:19pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 8:52pm<b>thee_most_dope</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:30am<b>Falkin0113</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:16pm<b>noah_1234</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:44pm

Liked!<b>Coolgo</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:56pm

biasedshooter's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54261) - you deserved it (6165)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54803) - you deserved it (6341)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57198) - you deserved it (6782)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45152) - you deserved it (2988)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

#20779957
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27985) - you deserved it (54861)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51251) - you deserved it (4232)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63605) - you deserved it (4750)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46715) - you deserved it (17188)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58524) - you deserved it (6893)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76112) - you deserved it (3704)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52916) - you deserved it (9148)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

#20747044
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39796) - you deserved it (4806)

On 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35385) - you deserved it (3003)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

#20732921
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35277) - you deserved it (3643)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47908) - you deserved it (2909)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: