Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

biasedshooter

Search for a member

biasedshooter
  • Town/Country : TX, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 June 1986 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 4232
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics. I also misspell alot of things. Deal with it!

biasedshooter's last visitors

nonameheffawaffule365NikkiNiks16meejui_wuz_nver_hereFinJagechocomilkshakekittiesoA_Fiascololle_p0pBobissmallsxe_beast

biasedshooter's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (1225)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17476) - you deserved it (1502)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6327) - you deserved it (21272)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4144) - you deserved it (36211)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19151) - you deserved it (4387)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18696) - you deserved it (1530)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21238) - you deserved it (12002)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4595) - you deserved it (38985)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15436) - you deserved it (2927)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

#20116490
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12696) - you deserved it (5797)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17449) - you deserved it (3147)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, for the second week in a row, my brother woke me up in the small hours of the morning begging me to help him figure out the math problem to turn off his phone's stupid-ass app alarm. FML

#20115354
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15041) - you deserved it (1247)

On 10/13/2012 at 6:25pm - misc - by fucking fratricidal (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

#20111868
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7900) - you deserved it (21567)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:02am - love - by goodeyesight (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16117) - you deserved it (2736)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12762) - you deserved it (5198)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)



FML's blog

  • Sharina's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever…

Friday 24 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: