biasedshooter

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biasedshooter

22Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 June 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16016
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics.

biasedshooter's page activity

Visits<b>jdw17</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 11:07pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 8:20pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 5:23pm<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 8:16pm<b>Dogluvr1197</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 1:32pm<b>Nai_Wiley</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 6:42pm<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 9:41pm<b>nonnified</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:07pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 10:55am<b>thejoshweaver</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 1:39pm<b>brittyboo123</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 12:32am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 11:49pm<b>princessofbelair</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 11:35pm<b>Katdurin</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 11:17pm<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 9:13pm<b>marcodeaux</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 11:32am<b>Oliveisthenewora</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 11:09pm<b>nadiabjensen</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 6:27pm

Fucked!<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 7:57pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 4:55pm<b>princessofbelair</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 5:15am<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 3:14am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 2:16am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 1:36am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 2:43pm<b>bhushanak</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 7:07am<b>MiLM</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 4:46pm<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:57pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:28am<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:55am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Endore</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:55am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:54pm<b>HoneyBadgerFury</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:51pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:32am<b>aguynamednick</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:37am

biasedshooter's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

by anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm / United States / Health

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

by Lithiac / 02/04/2014 at 1:16am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

by ChickenBallsPlease / 01/28/2014 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

by Pooper scooper / 01/28/2014 at 3:22am / Guam / Animals

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

by Subliminal message / 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm / Switzerland / Intimacy

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

by bear food / 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals