Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

biasedshooter

Offline (the 04/18/2015 at 1:08am) | Search for a member

biasedshooter

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 June 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13715
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics.

biasedshooter's page activity

Visits<b>dictatorofpotato</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:00pm<b>homelessandangry</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 8:45pm<b>star97</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:22pm<b>Xsweglord420x</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:41pm<b>zeusdom</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:41pm<b>aguynamednick</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:35pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:51am<b>TheVengefulGeek</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:17pm<b>rainbow_llamas</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:55pm<b>TheSmartAss10</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 3:42pm<b>naTOtheBILL</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 9:24pm<b>m_warner1</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:34am<b>Johnatron</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 4:28pm<b>A07</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:41am<b>Wrex</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:52am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:15am<b>hallieee</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:09am<b>Hime9908</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:29am

Fucked!<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:57pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:28am<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:55am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Endore</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:55am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:54pm<b>HoneyBadgerFury</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:51pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:32am<b>aguynamednick</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:37am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 1:36pm<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:22am<b>Alectrona</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:54pm<b>Coolgo</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:56pm

biasedshooter's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my English bulldog standing over me, getting ready to pee. I didn't move in time. FML

#12225863
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (5213)

On 07/31/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by Monkey (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13630) - you deserved it (117522)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (3874)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

#11980877
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28630) - you deserved it (7377)

On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

#11873804
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29178) - you deserved it (20097)

On 07/14/2010 at 11:17am - intimacy - by safetyfirst (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

#11865183
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36728) - you deserved it (9749)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33699) - you deserved it (4327)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

#11459455
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10163) - you deserved it (48050)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

#11281809
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12358) - you deserved it (54149)

On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

#11209991
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42161) - you deserved it (15022)

On 06/15/2010 at 3:11am - love - by milkybear (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML

#11123342
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35841) - you deserved it (3896)

On 06/11/2010 at 10:33am - health - by MegahnDN - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51283) - you deserved it (17839)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML

#10940530
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31850) - you deserved it (6560)

On 06/03/2010 at 8:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got a huge bill through the post. It turns out that my elderly mother made the vet come out to my house to see the dog while I was out, because she was scared of the little growths she had found on his body. They were nipples. FML

#10925593
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31398) - you deserved it (2414)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:15pm - money - by dogshavenipples (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: