Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

biasedshooter

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

biasedshooter

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 June 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15088
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics.

biasedshooter's page activity

Visits<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:51pm<b>iMuffinKat</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:24am<b>DemonicOtaku101</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 2:05pm<b>LauraAnn33</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:30pm<b>FruitPastels</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 7:15pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 5:45pm<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 1:57pm<b>Psyqiik</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 1:42am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 6:40pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 8:32am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 11:47am<b>dictatorofpotato</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:00pm<b>homelessandangry</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 8:45pm<b>star97</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:22pm<b>Xsweglord420x</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:41pm<b>zeusdom</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:41pm<b>aguynamednick</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:35pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:51am

Fucked!<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:57pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:28am<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:55am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Endore</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:55am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:54pm<b>HoneyBadgerFury</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:51pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:32am<b>aguynamednick</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:37am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 1:36pm<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:22am<b>Alectrona</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:54pm<b>Coolgo</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:56pm

biasedshooter's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54892) - you deserved it (5393)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34298) - you deserved it (51377)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

#21055088
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45034) - you deserved it (13208)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:12am - love - by look before you speak - United States

Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML

#21054692
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46578) - you deserved it (4203)

On 02/08/2014 at 6:24pm - animals - by sciencesadness (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53987) - you deserved it (10696)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37967) - you deserved it (43487)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

#21050005
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43753) - you deserved it (4661)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46629) - you deserved it (8761)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60351) - you deserved it (6661) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44009) - you deserved it (4736)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

#21042741
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42050) - you deserved it (15907)

On 01/28/2014 at 6:16am - misc - by ChickenBallsPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

#21042693
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42898) - you deserved it (5459)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:22am - animals - by Pooper scooper - Guam

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44517) - you deserved it (13653)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53866) - you deserved it (8265)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: