Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

biasedshooter

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

biasedshooter

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 June 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9297
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics. I also misspell alot of things. Deal with it!

biasedshooter's page activity

Visits<b>Andrewluz</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 11:20pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 8:02pm<b>Janawa</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:34pm<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:40am<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:49pm<b>123765</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:44pm<b>lexiieeex3</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:42am<b>walnutisacat</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:12pm<b>justdiebitches</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:34pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:57am<b>Matrix_Redeemer</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:25am<b>aidanbbb</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:12am<b>CRPSbloke</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:01am<b>kitten1800</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:15am<b>noahx</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:30am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:19pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 8:52pm<b>thee_most_dope</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:30am

Liked!<b>Coolgo</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:56pm

biasedshooter's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (3453)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33544) - you deserved it (4567)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31421) - you deserved it (14447)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my OCD reached a new high when I used a correction pen to white-out an eyelash which was photocopied onto every single page of my reading material. I did it because the eyelash was too distracting and I couldn't finish reading the article without the urge to rip it into shreds. FML

#21273246
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29415) - you deserved it (4827)

On 10/07/2014 at 11:49pm - misc - by waternixie (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36845) - you deserved it (16299)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36233) - you deserved it (2585)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (33329)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

#21267650
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42899) - you deserved it (3829)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:48pm - health - by impure - United States

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He told me one of my lights was busted, and I couldn't help but point out that one of his was out too. He said, "Thanks, I'll get that fixed right away." then gave me a ticket. FML

#21267623
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36741) - you deserved it (5695)

On 09/29/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32153) - you deserved it (3556)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42229) - you deserved it (7158)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

#21265697
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30891) - you deserved it (5762)

On 09/26/2014 at 9:03am - work - by dicksonthebrain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after a solid month of hard work, I finally finished modeling and animating a 3D insect character for a scene. After presenting it to the rest of my team, one of my teammates pointed out that it looks exactly like a flying penis. FML

#21263953
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29457) - you deserved it (5113)

On 09/23/2014 at 5:12pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: