Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

biasedshooter

Online | Search for a member

biasedshooter

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10716
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About biasedshooter : I am not racist, biased, or discriminatory in any way. I do however make jokes on these topics.

biasedshooter's page activity

Visits<b>Unlisshed</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:28am<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:22am<b>JayFuckingHell</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:53pm<b>TheVengefulGeek</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:47am<b>grunt2423</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 12:13am<b>amadeclton</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 1:51am<b>PrinPrinLife</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 6:38pm<b>s0m3guy2010</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 12:26pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 9:34am<b>Alectrona</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 8:21am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:41pm<b>ThatAmericanDude</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 5:37pm<b>SaintJin</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 5:07pm<b>gummybeargirl</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 3:41pm<b>Guren123</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 3:39pm<b>FWMYKIGI1990</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 3:22pm<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 2:17pm<b>lickastick</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 12:59pm

Liked!<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:22am<b>Alectrona</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:54pm<b>Coolgo</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:56pm

biasedshooter's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of biasedshooter's badges

biasedshooter's favorite FMLs

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14947) - you deserved it (45211)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

#21355268
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27519) - you deserved it (7046)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:54am - love - by StrawHatBill (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40185) - you deserved it (4168)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33990) - you deserved it (4997)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31776) - you deserved it (4515)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

#21338477
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20971) - you deserved it (12196)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML

#21338246
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26097) - you deserved it (8588)

On 01/16/2015 at 12:09pm - misc - by phones - United States

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
113 comments

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35339) - you deserved it (6657)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31038) - you deserved it (2982)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45937) - you deserved it (11864)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

#21308095
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38572) - you deserved it (4683)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

#21306857
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33867) - you deserved it (3197)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML

#21305429
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25902) - you deserved it (3246)

On 11/24/2014 at 9:17pm - misc - by Hammy - United States (Michigan)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: