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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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biancster

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biancster
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  • Number of visits : 425
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (35968) - you deserved it (10383)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML

#12316172 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (18816) - you deserved it (1454)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by Amandajean32 - United States

Today, after celebrating my birthday yesterday, getting really drunk, I woke up naked in the bathroom at my girlfriend's house. Why did I wake up? Her father walked in. FML

#8769719 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (4805) - you deserved it (15269)

On 03/02/2010 at 8:42am - misc - by littmild (man) - Norway (Telemark)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

#8767827 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (21913) - you deserved it (1910)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by Celeste - Singapore

Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML

#7868479 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (20252) - you deserved it (1426)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:34am - misc - by city_girl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had lunch with a co-worker, and after having a good talk and enjoying each others company, we got up to leave. Right before we said goodbye, she looked me right in the face and looking legitimately confused said "you know, I really don't understand why no one at work likes you." FML

#7865660 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (19801) - you deserved it (1444)

On 02/04/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by crazyclumzy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

#7767397 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (16678) - you deserved it (2064)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:27am - animals - by Jammy238 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

#7642082 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (19746) - you deserved it (2176)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my best friend became my ex-best friend. I have finally gotten over the guy she stole from me a year ago and have developed a crush on another guy. My best friend called me today to tell me that she broke up with the first guy and is now going out with my current crush. FML

#7641681 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (25984) - you deserved it (3015)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by Cheater_Cheater_Pumpkin_Eater - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML

#7638803 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (19835) - you deserved it (7206)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:59am - love - by thisucks (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I was worried I'd broken something and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the volume settings for an hour before calling my sister in to look at it. She looked at it for two seconds before unplugging my headphones. FML

#7612223 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (3111) - you deserved it (24106)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (8123)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

#7608108 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (27922) - you deserved it (2084)

On 01/27/2010 at 5:20am - misc - by Sundendako (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML

#7607342 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (6278)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

#7591761 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (37770) - you deserved it (11333)

On 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)