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bguerrero

Offline (the 01/02/2016 at 5:24am) | Search for a member

bguerrero

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3392
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About bguerrero : 😊🖕🏼

bguerrero's page activity

Visits<b>fidoyal</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:13am<b>AscendV</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:10pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:34pm<b>loganswann</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 10:22pm<b>satanicdaydream</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 1:13pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 11:00am<b>lahutchins</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 6:24pm<b>hi_im_ughlee</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 2:09pm<b>Mons</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 12:48am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:03pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 11:40am<b>lexabunny18</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 9:47pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 1:37am<b>cmchappy</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 5:32pm<b>0void0</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 8:35pm<b>lolszilla</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 2:14am<b>neverdrinkSODA</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:17pm

Fucked!<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 6:48am<b>hi_im_ughlee</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 11:53pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:04pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 7:37am<b>AscendV</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 4:23am

bguerrero's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of bguerrero's badges

bguerrero's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9672) - you deserved it (51698)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML

#19608555
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21014) - you deserved it (5899)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:16pm - kids - by jessye1182 - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

#19605689
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21603) - you deserved it (3057)

On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United States

Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML

#19601816
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8989) - you deserved it (27088)

On 05/10/2012 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML

#19600497
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28267) - you deserved it (2884)

On 05/09/2012 at 11:34pm - misc - by I Don't Exorcise - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

#19592983
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31320) - you deserved it (5932)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by mal (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

#19592070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22753) - you deserved it (4368)

On 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm - animals - by gl0b3suck0r (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML

#19588990
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39741) - you deserved it (4274)

On 05/07/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by coffeeshopgirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32990) - you deserved it (5130)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML

#19582200
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32287) - you deserved it (6891)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:01pm - love - by Bridget (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I noticed my nephew has blue eyes, freckles and dimples which don't run in my family or my sister's husband's family, but they do run in my husband's family. FML

#19581290
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41177) - you deserved it (4075)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Damn (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34519) - you deserved it (3959)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

#19576314
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25398) - you deserved it (8432)

On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

#19564735
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33119) - you deserved it (2325)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

#19557308
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30079) - you deserved it (3277)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:02am - intimacy - by epicsquishii (woman) - United States (California)



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