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bguerrero

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bguerrero
  • Town/Country : Texas
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1027
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About bguerrero : I obviously like funny people and reading fmls..it makes my day. I'm very easily entertained(:

I check my fml on the computer so just send a message if you want:) I will reply.

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bguerrero's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

#19991371
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22174) - you deserved it (5863)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:25pm - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24573) - you deserved it (3942)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML

#19987947
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17549) - you deserved it (1842)

On 07/27/2012 at 7:55pm - misc - by WTF is all I ask (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said "I was thinking McDonald's". FML

#19985281
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23213) - you deserved it (4311)

On 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

#19981666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20772) - you deserved it (2279)

On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering to go on the roof to retrieve it. The cat had climbed down when I got up there, and I have a fear of heights. Her mom had to help me down. FML

#19980789
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9137) - you deserved it (17549)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:10am - animals - by screw the cat (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML

#19977285
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7676) - you deserved it (56455)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by henley -

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24151) - you deserved it (2749)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12503) - you deserved it (23727)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

#19913171
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (2491)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25812) - you deserved it (3485)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

#19844556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17036) - you deserved it (1933)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:09pm - kids - by bcoper (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

#19818788
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (2647)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by phonnah - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized I have been single for far too long when I was turning off porno after porno because I couldn't stand the horrible acting. FML

#19806122
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19829) - you deserved it (5049)

On 06/18/2012 at 6:22am - intimacy - by the critic (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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