Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bguerrero

Offline (the 01/02/2016 at 5:24am) | Search for a member

bguerrero

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3395
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About bguerrero : 😊🖕🏼

bguerrero's page activity

Visits<b>fidoyal</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:13am<b>AscendV</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:10pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:34pm<b>loganswann</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 10:22pm<b>satanicdaydream</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 1:13pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 11:00am<b>lahutchins</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 6:24pm<b>hi_im_ughlee</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 2:09pm<b>Mons</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 12:48am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:03pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 11:40am<b>lexabunny18</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 9:47pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 1:37am<b>cmchappy</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 5:32pm<b>0void0</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 8:35pm<b>lolszilla</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 2:14am<b>neverdrinkSODA</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:17pm

Fucked!<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 6:48am<b>hi_im_ughlee</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 11:53pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:04pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 7:37am<b>AscendV</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 4:23am

bguerrero's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of bguerrero's badges

bguerrero's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36901) - you deserved it (11393)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27232) - you deserved it (1762)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML

#20050638
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23969) - you deserved it (2231)

On 08/31/2012 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

#20047299
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24789) - you deserved it (2916)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:52am - money - by anon - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

#20039086
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26694) - you deserved it (9891)

On 08/24/2012 at 9:53am - intimacy - by chunkymonkey (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31718) - you deserved it (4744)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7697) - you deserved it (51756)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

#20011112
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17028) - you deserved it (22876)

On 08/09/2012 at 7:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30855) - you deserved it (6134)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I discovered that when I'm drunk, I hate wearing clothes. And it doesn't matter who is around to see it, not even my soon-to-be father-in-law. FML

#19997643
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7751) - you deserved it (26793)

On 08/02/2012 at 1:10am - misc - by wherermypants (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#19996782
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30826) - you deserved it (34640)

On 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I went to do the laundry at my hotel. I had just enough money for my two loads. After getting frustrated with the washer taking two of my quarters and giving no credit, I took the clothes out. The washer then locked the door shut and started without my clothes. FML

#19996404
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (4553)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:44pm - misc - by jessmess (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML

#19995813
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25855) - you deserved it (3888)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: