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bguerrero

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bguerrero
  • Town/Country : Texas
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1018
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About bguerrero : I obviously like funny people and reading fmls..it makes my day. I'm very easily entertained(:

I check my fml on the computer so just send a message if you want:) I will reply.

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bguerrero's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22910) - you deserved it (2368)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18027) - you deserved it (1899)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out there's a rumor going around that my smoking hot co-worker and I had sex over the weekend. I'm not nearly as pissed off about the rumor as I am by the fact that I can't remember it because I was too drunk. FML

#20069142
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8708) - you deserved it (25675)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by bruisedego31 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML

#20068584
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25265) - you deserved it (4400)

On 09/12/2012 at 4:52am - kids - by Bitchjackedmyball - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21711) - you deserved it (3434)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

#20067539
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23147) - you deserved it (5203)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by apparently inexperienced (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML

#20067208
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13610) - you deserved it (1704)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:47am - misc - by NotDrunk (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15044) - you deserved it (5320)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16037) - you deserved it (65328)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, after 3 nights of insomnia, I was finally able to doze off. My boyfriend woke me up just to ask which soda in the fridge was mine. FML

#20062839
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19264) - you deserved it (1508)

On 09/08/2012 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

#20054049
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24154) - you deserved it (2375)

On 09/02/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by ImOverHere (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25636) - you deserved it (7440)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

#20052266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (1382)

On 09/01/2012 at 10:09am - health - by iliveintexas - United States (Texas)

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML

#20050638
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17516) - you deserved it (1654)

On 08/31/2012 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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