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bgn

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  • Number of visits : 641
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bgn's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:22pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 03/13/2011 at 9:54pm

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

bgn's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

#14677100
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36542) - you deserved it (13387)

On 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40787) - you deserved it (26849) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

#14549895
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30726) - you deserved it (6007)

On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

#14549895
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30726) - you deserved it (6007)

On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my husband of 19 years took our children out for dinner, told them he's gay, then sent them home to tell me for him. FML

Today, I got to listen to my younger brother have sex with a girl while I sat in my room playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night. FML

#14504771
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (40174)

On 01/08/2011 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

#14459916
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30432) - you deserved it (8902)

On 01/04/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML

#14449491
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48582) - you deserved it (9820)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:40am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41850) - you deserved it (8758)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

#14296001
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23811) - you deserved it (12202)

On 12/22/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

#14284666
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33606) - you deserved it (7260)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Hannah - United States (Kansas)

Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML

#14112923
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39279) - you deserved it (15318)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

#13921347
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9457) - you deserved it (60151)

On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)

Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML

#13886809
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (5312)

On 11/18/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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