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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Mobility
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Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37815) - you deserved it (3030)
Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (1503)
On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (2723)
On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, one of my employees complained of B.O. wafting into his work space. As a joke, I created an anonymous survey online asking everyone if they had showered in the last 30 days, and sent it out. Half of them put "Yes", the other half put a variation of "I can't afford to shower on my salary." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7497) - you deserved it (19242)
On 02/14/2013 at 7:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24346) - you deserved it (2945)
On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23080) - you deserved it (1623)
On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)
Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27633) - you deserved it (2015)
On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)
Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20625) - you deserved it (1680)
On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I have been waiting for a call from a job I applied for. I soon got a text from my current boss, who doesn't know I'm job hunting, letting me know that the recruiter was trying to reach me. Turns out my number on my resumé was wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6112) - you deserved it (23907)
On 01/28/2013 at 6:25pm - work - by faulty number - United States (Florida)
Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18473) - you deserved it (3041)
On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland
Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23247) - you deserved it (1568)
On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31153) - you deserved it (3351)
Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23871) - you deserved it (7070)
On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15273) - you deserved it (1433)
On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)
Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13487) - you deserved it (1297)
On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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