About bethyc4 : I've died twice and I'm still around. There is no gettin' rid of me fuckers! =D I've been on my own since the week I turned 18. I graduated High School a valedictorian and I work as a care giver and In-home personal care provider for the VA taking care of disabled children and vets.
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bethyc4's favorite FMLs
by Johnvris / 07/08/2015 at 10:44am / Aruba / Love
Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML
by notacreep / 07/06/2015 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months was showing me his new phone. He accidentally opened his gallery, which contains 3 photos: one of his motorcycle, one of his new game console, and a naked photo of his ex. FML
by wellthatsucks / 07/05/2015 at 3:18pm / United States / Love
Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML
by Anonymous / 07/04/2015 at 4:55am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that me and her father's wedding is just a big joke and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML
by bummed out step monster / 06/24/2015 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids
Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2015 at 10:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
by lehonX9 / 06/06/2015 at 5:11am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 5:08am / Maldives (Maale) / Miscellaneous
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML
by inheritance / 05/05/2015 at 10:44am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 3:57am / United States (Montana) / Love
Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML
by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids
Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML
by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm / Romania (Giurgiu) / Animals
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…