About bethyc4 : I've died twice and I'm still around. There is no gettin' rid of me fuckers! =D I've been on my own since the week I turned 18. I graduated High School a valedictorian and I work as a care giver and In-home personal care provider for the VA taking care of disabled children and vets.
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bethyc4's favorite FMLs
by smf_ds / 07/31/2015 at 4:48pm / Portugal (Porto) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML
by Just wanted a cigarette / 07/30/2015 at 10:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/30/2015 at 6:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by WhoLikesPie / 07/25/2015 at 11:51am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML
by HAIL SITHIS / 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was telling 3 classmates on Whatsapp about my depression. One of them told me to "nut up n grow a pear." Two hours after we mocked him for being an illiterate jackass, one of us has had our car tires knifed and another's house has been egged. I'm terrified of what will happen to me. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2015 at 1:59pm / Northern Mariana Islands / Health
Today, I'm grieving over the death of my best friend of 9 years. My mom wasted no time arriving at the conclusion that I must be hormonal and pregnant with his child. Apparently it's not normal for a woman to cry so much over a man, unless they've been fucking. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2015 at 12:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by anon / 07/17/2015 at 3:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML
by anonymous / 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, after having to spend over an hour yesterday giving the man I'm in love with advice on how to impress his date yesterday evening, I got to spend another hour listening to how great their sex was last night. FML
by jealousgirl / 07/16/2015 at 5:00pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 11:40am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend's brother and fiancé decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML
by ZiggyTink / 07/08/2015 at 11:24pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…